


Of Cows and Curses and Consequences

by Birdieh



Category: Fruits Basket (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Canon - Anime, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Development, Developing Relationship, Drama, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff, Friendship, High School, Long-Term Relationship(s), POV Second Person, Post-Canon, Rating May Change, Reader-Insert, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Warnings May Change, black Haru has a potty mouth sometimes, offensive language, potential smut in the horizon, some tidbits from the manga canon may be present as well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-06-18 20:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15494370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdieh/pseuds/Birdieh
Summary: It’s your first year of high school and you’re forced to relocate to a new town. Thankfully, with the help of your cousin Saki Hanajima, you soon get to know some of the people you’ll be sharing your school with. Chances are that some of these new relationships will lead you to change your life forever, and it's up to you to figure out if the great gains are worth the great losses.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally started writing this back in 2009, so if you think you have seen something like this before you're probably not wrong. Recently got the hankering to get back to working on this, so here you go.

The serene day made for a sharp contrast to your nervous self. Some puffy, white clouds were gently drifting across the fantastically blue sky, whereas in your mind questions about the coming day were darting around and colliding with each other in rapid succession. The sun shone as if there was no care in the world, while you were seemingly worrying about everything all at once.

Nature seemed to suggest that today would be a lovely day for new beginnings, but your angle on it was to worry more about the potential missteps. Today would indeed be a day full of new things – and new chances to embarrass yourself, too.

“Your waves are quite frantic,” Saki said, calm as she always seemed to be. She was standing next to you, her hand wrapped around a metal support pole to keep her balanced in the moving train.

“Not surprising,” you answered with a small shrug. Your elbow was wrapped around another pole, though you suspected that with the amount of people in the train, you didn’t really need the support to stay upright. You held the handle of your school bag with both hands and tried to remind yourself that you could do well in a new school, you would surely find friends and your place in there. Stupid, over-worrying brain.

“You will do just fine,” Saki said and looked you straight in the eye, knowing your problem even without you telling her. You felt all the what ifs get quieter as Saki's calm and assured words seemed to muffle them. You smiled at your cousin and felt much calmer already.

The rasping voice coming from the speakers told you that you were at your stop. You followed Saki out of the train and into the swelling crowd that had gathered on the platform. People were bumping on you from every possible direction, hurrying in or out of the trains in order to arrive at their workplaces or schools in time. Despite the crowd's efforts to separate you from your cousin, you managed to follow Saki's head through the mass and up to the streets.

“It'll take me a while longer to get used to this ruckus,” you sighed and straightened your blue skirt slightly. It had gotten caught in something in the crowd and you definitely didn't want the hem to rise much higher than it already was. As you were walking you held onto your school bag tightly, afraid of someone bumping into you and sending your bag sprawling.

You had been living in a pretty small town for all your life, so even though you had spent most of the summer break here with your cousins, you still weren't fully accustomed to this lively city. During your first days Saki had to actually drag you out of the way of a few quickly advancing people before you had learned that even the foot traffic was of quite a different volume compared to your home. You still found the amount people a little grating, but at least you were learning to mind yourself a little more.

“Hello, Hanajima!”someone shouted from the upcoming street corner. You raised your head to see Arisa Uotani, Saki's friend. You had met her a few times during the summer and had found her to be a good friend despite her rough exterior. Though, to be quite honest, she still scared you a little bit, with the tidbits that kept on surfacing about her apparently quite . . . intense past.

“Hi, Uo-san,” you greeted, smiling.

“Good morning, Arisa,” Saki said after you and nodded her head slightly as a greeting.

“So, how're you feeling about your first day?” Arisa asked you while you continued your walk down the street and towards Kaibara High.

“What would you expect? Kinda nervous, but at least I know I'm not totally alone in that big school,” you answered with a slightly nervous smile. As you were walking, your fingers kept on fiddling with the handle of your school bag.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” Arisa said, slapping your back. You stumbled slightly at the sudden impact, but corrected yourself quickly. She’d not hit you hard, but you had not been expecting it.

“I hope so,” you said, still a little anxious despite the reassurances you’d been getting.

You could already see some students on the streets, both lone travelers and groups of happily chatting friends. You couldn't help but think about what it would feel like if you could be with your best friends right now, starting the new term in a familiar school with familiar people. But you tried to see the silver lining: at least you weren't completely alone.

Arisa and Saki were talking about people you didn't know almost the entire way to the school, so you had the perfect chance to dwell in your thoughts. Doing so wasn’t exactly helping your anxiety levels, but it still was hard to avoid worrying about what would be happening today. Thankfully, it didn't take long before you closed in on the school grounds and now the place was swarming with uniformed students. Being the curious person you were, you let your gaze sweep the crowds and tried to guess which of the people might be your future classmates.

Your scanning eyes stopped on a nervous-looking freshman who was inching his way towards the school gates. He seemed almost like he was going to faint as he stared at the older students who seemed so happy and careless while he was stiff as a crowbar. Maybe you weren't the only one who was transferring schools in the middle of the year.

“You think he's going to black out?” Arisa asked no one in particular, seemingly amused. Following her eyes you realized that she had noticed the same boy you had been looking at. You all halted near the entrance to the school grounds, as if waiting for something to happen. Like for the boy to freak out.

“His waves do support that,” Saki commented casually. You couldn't help but feel sorry for the young lad. He looked so frightened that you almost wanted to go and hug him or something to cheer him up.

Suddenly, an older student with curiously shaded hair – it seemed almost purple! – approached the almost quivering boy. You couldn't hear what they said, but you were certain that now, when the freshman had to be sharp in front of some older, scary student, the boy would surely faint. A slightly worried expression spread over your features as you watched how the youngster would react. But to your surprise the boy seemed to relax after some talking and you even managed to catch a glimpse of some sort of smile. A pretty good achievement from that purple-haired fellow.

“And once again Prince Charming has saved the day,” Arisa commented slightly sarcastically and helped you guess who the older student was: Yuki Sohma. You had never seen him before, but you had heard Saki, Arisa and Tohru talk about him. He was a little too far away from you for you to make out his exact features, but from what you could tell at this distance, he seemed to live up to his pretty boy reputation.

“Tohru-kun should be here, too,” Saki said. You could tell that Arisa started immediately scanning the area for signs of Tohru, but she didn’t seem to have much success.

“He'd probably know where she is,” Arisa said and nodded her head towards Yuki.

“Hi, Uo-chan, Hana-chan, (f/n)-san!” Tohru greeted happily from somewhere to your side before you could head to Yuki. You all turned around to see Tohru smiling, bright as always, and returned her greeting. It still felt a little weird to hear Tohru address you so formally, with her being your senior and all, but at least she’d moved on to using your first name rather than your surname. Baby steps and all that.

“Excited about your first day?” Tohru asked you, looking at you earnestly. Her happy smile had already contagiously spread to your face as well. It really was quite impossible to feel down around Tohru, who seemed to just radiate happiness around her.

“Nervous, mostly, but not intolerably so,” you answered truthfully.

“No need to be, I'm sure you'll like it here and make many new friends!” Tohru said enthusiastically, trying to cheer you up.

“I certainly hope so," you said, still smiling. Surely, on such a nice day with such nice people around you, things couldn't go horribly wrong. Though, you reminded yourself, Saki, Tohru and Arisa weren't the people you would be sharing your class with.

After Tohru joined you, you continued on your way to the school grounds. Since there was still a fair bit of time before the first class would start, you decided to enjoy the outdoors as long as you could.

“There?” Saki said and pointed at a large tree which had some soft-looking, green grass under it to sit on comfortably. You all agreed and soon you were all sitting on the ground. You and Tohru were resting your backs against the tree, with Saki opposite you two and Arisa lying on her back on the grass.

You sat around a few minutes, chatting idly and observing your surroundings. The yard was filling with people, Kaibara High was clearly a much bigger school than your previous one. You had been here before, to sort out the official business related to your transfer, but that had been during the summer break. With the buildings empty, you had not quite grasped the amount of students that attended the school. Now, however, the amount of people was really starting to hit you.

“Which class will you be joining?” Tohru asked you, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Oh, 1C, I think.” To be honest, you had checked the papers that you had received from the school a zillion times already. As such, you were pretty certain about your class as well as the other details, but there was always the chance that you remembered it wrong. In fact, you almost felt like you should dig the papers out of your bag once again just to review everything once more.

“Then you'll be in the same class as Hatsuharu-san and Momiji-kun! I'm sure you'll become fast friends with them!” Tohru said happily. The names sounded vaguely familiar. Probably Saki, Tohru or Arisa had mentioned them sometime during the summer break.

“I can take you to them. Besides, I’d like to see them myself,” Tohru offered and took hold of your hand. You soon found yourself being dragged up from the ground and stumbled up to your feet. So much for sitting comfortably under the tree, though you would be glad to be introduced to some of your classmates.

“I guess I'll see you later!” you said to Arisa and Saki with a quick wave as Tohru was leading you away. Arisa and Saki seemed to hesitate for a minute, deciding whether to follow you two or not. Eventually they settled on staying where they were, but their eyes followed Tohru and you for a while still.

“Where are they...” Tohru mumbled to herself as she looked around the schoolyard. Luckily, it didn't take her too long to spot the people she was looking for.

“Ah, there they are! I'm sure you three will get along fine, being in the same class and all,” Tohru chirped and pulled you forward again. You uttered some affirmative sounds, busy with trying to retain your balance after Tohru’s sudden pull on your arm. She wasn’t being particularly forceful, but you still felt like you were getting swept away by her.

“Hi Momiji-kun, Hatsuharu-san!” Tohru greeted the pair of boys when you reached them. You used the opportunity to gently disengage your hand from Tohru's. After all, you weren't a little five-year-old led by her mother.

In front of you was quite a striking pair. The shorter one of them had blond hair and brown eyes, with an energetic air about him. He provided quite a contrast to the other boy, who was casually lounging with one leg propped up against the wall. The lounging one had dual-tone black and white hair, piercings on his ears and several necklaces around his neck.

 _Oh my_ , you thought, appreciating the sight in front of you. Now that was something.

“Hello Tohru-kun! Who's your friend?” the shorter one inquired with such a happy expression on his face that it competed with that of Tohru's.

“This is (f/n) (l/n)-san, Hana-chan’s cousin. She just moved here recently and will be joining your class. (f/n)-san, these are Momiji Sohma and Hatsuharu Sohma,” Tohru introduced and pointed out with her hand to indicate which name belonged to whom.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Momiji-san, Hatsuharu-san,” you said and greeted them politely with a small bow.

“The pleasure is all ours,” Hatsuharu said and returned your bow. You had not expected him to have such a deep voice. This combined with his intriguing appearance and apparent manners was making for quite a first impression. Seemed like he was quite something indeed.

“Can you sense people's waves too?” Momiji asked, appearing quite excited and eyeing you from head to toe, as if looking for an antenna or something. You supposed it was only fair to assume that being related you and Saki might share some unusual traits, but the question still caught you off-guard.

“Oh no, I can do nothing like that. I'm just a plain normal girl with no special powers,” you answered with a smile and a wave of your hand. When you had been younger, you had actually envied Saki and her brother for being able to do something you couldn't. Thankfully, you had grown out of that, especially after you had learned that such unusual capabilities could cause problems, as well.

“Aww, that would've been so cool!” Momiji seemed a little disappointed after hearing that, but soon he turned his smile at full force towards Tohru.

“Tohru-kun, how was your vacation? Mine was fantastic! I visited almost everyone in the family and look, I even got some tan!” Momiji said and pulled his sleeve upwards to show his slightly tanned arm, which he seemed to be particularly proud of. Due to all his exuberance you were almost sure he was going to bounce around like a rubber ball very soon. The image of him bumping on the walls almost made you laugh all by yourself.

“So that's why I didn't see you that often during summer. You must have enjoyed seeing all the members of the family. My vacation was very relaxing, so now I'm full of energy to start a new term!” Tohru exclaimed and really seemed as energetic as one could be.

“I really can't understand how you can feel that way after all that work you did throughout the break,” you said to Tohru, shaking your head in amusement. It seemed like every time you had met Tohru during summer she had either been coming from or going to work. Where she found all that energy, you could only guess.

“It isn't that hard, besides, I need to work to be able to study as I promised to my mother,” Tohru said with a determined look on her face. Your expression softened at her words. It certainly was admirable how hard Tohru worked to fulfill her mother's wish, and you could only imagine how hard things had been on Tohru after her mother’s death. Suddenly, your own anxieties seemed small in comparison. If Tohru could handle losing her parents and combining school with work, surely you could handle finding your place in a new school.

Suddenly the school bell rang and made both you and Tohru startle a little.

“Oh, we should be heading in!” Tohru said. “See you all later! Have a good day, everyone!” Tohru said and waved goodbye before heading towards the school entrance.

“Don't worry about (f/n)-san, we'll take care of her! Right, Haru?” Momiji said, nodding rapidly, and turned to see Hatsuharu to get his affirmation.

“Sure,” Hatsuharu said, his calmness providing a welcome counterbalance to Momiji's energetic nature. Tohru turned to give you one last comforting smile before she hurried inside the school building. Momiji quickly skipped after her, while Hatsuharu adopted a more relaxed pace. You weren't particularly fond of the idea of rushing into the swarming mass of students that had gathered in front of the main door, so you chose to walk with Hatsuharu.

“So, what brings you to Kaibara High?” Hatsuharu asked you while you were walking.

“My father will be relocated here for his job soon, and I moved in a little earlier to make it easier with the school. It's bad enough changing schools in the middle of the year, and if I had come with them I would've needed to do it in the middle of the term,” you explained. You didn't say it out loud, but it was more with your parent's insistence than yours that you had moved before them. They wished you to succeed well in your studies, and so they found it more beneficial for you to come here now so your studies wouldn't be so disturbed.

"You came ahead all by yourself?" Hatsuharu asked, seemingly surprised.

"Well, I'm staying with the Hanajimas, so it's not like I'm getting fully separated from all family," you answered. It would still be some time before your parents would arrive and you would have a house here, and until then you would stay with Saki’s family. It was a little cramped in the house with you there, but you all could make do for a little while.

“Hurry up or we'll be late for the class!” Momiji had returned to you two, and with his words you picked up your pace. You didn't like being late and you definitely didn't want to do that on your first day!

Following the two Sohmas into the school, you already felt much less nervous than earlier. From the little you had seen, they seemed to be pretty nice guys, which was a relief for you. You had been worried it might be difficult to get to know people who had already had more than a year of being in the same class together. But if everyone was going to be this welcoming, you were hopeful that everything would go fine.


	2. Chapter 2

The margins of your notebook were quickly getting filled with scribbles as you let the teacher's ramblings flow in one ear and out the other. Hatsuharu, who was sitting on your left, was staring blankly somewhere past the teacher and the whole classroom whereas Momiji, situated on your right, seemed to actually be listening to the teacher. The air in the classroom was pretty musty and you really wished you could open the window, but you knew better than to try that when the class was still going on. Your current teacher didn't seem like he would approve of that kind of initiative.

It was already your third class for today. The teacher of the first one had only shortly introduced you in the beginning of the lesson, you didn't even have to get up from your seat. Seemed like she thought it would be just a waste of the precious time that was better spent on the actual subject matter. You were quite pleased with that since you were sure you wouldn't have come up with anything decent to say to introduce yourself in front of everybody, anyway.

Momiji had been chatting with you as often as he could during the whole day – he had earned some angry words from the teachers on the side – and you had found him to be a very friendly and happy person, someone who was easy to be with and who could cheer someone up just with his presence. Of course you had also noticed that most of the time he seemed to act clearly under his age, but it didn't bother you too much, rather you found his spontaneous nature quite refreshing. Besides, he seemed so considerate and joyful and you were getting along pretty well, which were the important parts.

“Here's your homework for today.” You raised your eyes to see that the teacher had finally written the exercises on the blackboard. The lesson was math, where you generally found it more interesting to study the subject matter from your books by yourself. It was just so much more rewarding to figure out something on your own, to make it click and become understandable, and in your experience it worked better out for you anyway than waiting for the teacher to go through the details on the board. You just wished the teacher had given the homework earlier so you could've started doing it already. The less homework there would be to do after school the better.

“That doesn't seem like math notes,” Momiji said from beside you, pointing at some of your scribbles.

“No, it's just some ideas for a story I'd like to write,” you explained, most of your attention focused on the first math problem. You were about halfway done with it and you were quickly writing the rest of it out.

“Oh, what kind of story?” Momiji asked, tilting his head to the side, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.

“Momiji-san, shouldn't you let (l/n)-san do her work?” the teacher said sternly before you could answer to Momiji.

“Oh, sorry!” Momiji said while not moving an inch away from your desk. Meanwhile, you had just finished the first exercise and were thinking about the second. It was such a nice feeling to notice that you were breezing through the questions with relative ease, especially since it was something that didn’t carry over to all your studies.

“I don't understand this at all, could you help me?” Momiji said, apparently noticing the swift progress you were making with the homework. You suspected he hadn't even looked at the exercise yet, but you turned to help him anyway. It took a little time to make Momiji understand the gist of the problem, but he finally got it.

“See, it isn't that difficult,” you said when comprehension dawned on Momiji's face.

“Thank you! You know, you could make a great teacher,” Momiji said, clearly proud of his success with the math problem.

“I doubt I’d have the patience for that sort of work,” you said with a small chuckle before returning to your homework. Momiji focused on his own book with newfound enthusiasm, and you smiled when you quickly glanced in his direction and saw him busily working on the next exercises. Soon you heard Haru speak from your other side.

“How did you solve the second exercise?” Haru asked you. You turned to him, leaning over to his desk with your notebook as you compared your solutions. It turned out Haru had solved the problem, sort of, but was missing an important step in his calculations. You pointed out his oversight to him, and helped him figure out the importance of the step he had missed.

Soon, however, the teacher announced that the class was over. No finishing homework during class today. But now it was time for lunch break, something that you'd been waiting for a while now.

“Momiji-san, Hatsuharu-san, could either one of you please show me the way to Sa-chan and Tohru-kun's classroom?” you asked after taking your lunch box out of your bag. Saki had asked you to come visit her during the lunch break so she could see how you were doing.

“I can do it,” Haru said nonchalantly and rose from his seat with his own lunch box in his hands. The first impression you had gotten of him had only been getting stronger as you had the chance to get to know him a little better through the day. He was so laid-back that it seemed to calm you as well. It was as if his presence told you that there was nothing in the world that was really worth worrying over.

“I'll come with you, then!” Momiji decided and soon you were out in the corridor, Momiji bouncing a couple of steps in front of you and Haru.

“Thank you for your help with the homework,” Haru said as you were walking.

“No problem, I’m happy I could help,” you answered with a smile and a dismissive wave of your hand.

“Oh, but it was a big help, right, Haru?” Momiji said happily, turning back towards the two of you.

“Mh-mm,” Haru uttered with a nod.

“Well, if you need some more math help in the future, just let me know,” you said, slightly embarrassed. Really, it wasn’t that much.

Soon enough you reached the classroom you were looking for. Momiji burst in through the door, with you and Haru a couple of steps behind him.

“Tohru-kun! We came to visit you all for lunch!” Momiji exclaimed, practically bouncing again.

“He could probably provide the electricity for a whole town with that energy,” you mused, smiling.

“At least that,” Haru admitted just as you stepped into the classroom.

“Have those two been nice to you?” Saki asked from your side, making you jerk with surprise.

“Haven't I told you to not to sneak up on people,” you said, adopting a motherly tone. You almost managed to keep your appearance serious, but the glint in your eyes betrayed you. “But to answer your question, yes. They’ve made me feel really welcome.” Saki nodded, content with the answer she got, and you went on telling her what the day had been like thus far, which teachers had been holding the classes and things like that.

Suddenly you were surprised by a shriek, let out by none other than Momiji. There was an orange-haired boy tugging Momiji's hair and Momiji had tears in his eyes. Your heart clenched at the sight. Poor Momiji looked so young and fragile.

“Kyo is being mean!” Momiji wailed.

“It's your own fault if you say things like that!” the boy called Kyo answered. So this was yet another Sohma that Saki and the others had been talking about. Definitely not as good-natured as the rest of them seemed to be.

“But, Kyo-kun!” Tohru said, apparently at least as worried as you were.

“Ok, carrot top, that's enough,” Arisa said, fed up, and slapped Kyo on the back of the head with an open palm, making him lose his grip on Momiji.

“Hey, what was that for?!” Kyo shouted, seeming as pissed as ever. It soon devolved into quite a verbal back-and-forth, which you did your best to ignore. You were confident Arisa could hold her own, so instead of following the shouty exchange both you and Tohru hurried to Momiji’s side.

“Are you alright?” Tohru asked. Momiji nodded, still looking as miserable as if the whole world's sadness had been piled upon his shoulders.

“What on earth was that for?” you wondered, still worried.

“I just asked him if he had asked Tohru out yet,” Momiji explained, still with tears in his eyes. “He didn't really answer. So did he do it, Tohru-kun?” Red flushed up Tohru's face and you did your best to contain your chuckle. So this was what was going on.

“N-no! I mean, why should he? I mean...” Tohru trailed off, clearly at loss for words. You didn't even bother to hide your knowing smile. For some reason you immediately thought better of Kyo. He couldn't be as bad as his first impression if Tohru liked him.

“Well, what do you say about going outside to eat? It would be a shame to spend a whole day indoors on a day like this,” you said to change the topic and let Tohru out of her misery – even though now you were terribly curious about the situation between her and Kyo.

“That sounds great!” Arisa said and turned away from her fight with Kyo, who seemed even more offended now that he was being ignored. Tohru, Saki and Momiji also agreed immediately.

“Haru, do you want to come too? And Yuki and Kyo?” Momiji asked the three Sohmas.

“You could probably use some fresh air, too,” Haru said to Yuki, tugging his sleeve.

“Who is that girl, anyway?” Kyo asked and looked at you, still irritated. You were doing your best to ignore his heated gaze. Whether or not Tohru liked him, he certainly didn’t seem to bother with such trivialities as good manners.

“She's my cousin. The girl Tohru told you about earlier,” Saki said, looking at Kyo with one of her most intense looks. To Kyo's credit, he didn't seem to shirk much under her eyes.

“So you're (l/n)-san? Pleased to meet you, I'm Yuki Sohma,” Yuki introduced himself with a gentle smile, firmly ignoring Kyo. Kyo, for his part, seemed a bit embarrassed due to his lapse in memory, but soon covered that up with another angry glare. What a dude.

“Let's get going already!” Arisa said from the door, Tohru and Saki behind her, before you could properly respond to Yuki’s introduction. You all turned to follow them and even Kyo tagged along. Soon you found yourselves sitting under the same tree that you, Saki and the others had been under earlier today, scattered across the grass and all opening up your lunch boxes.

Well, everyone except Momiji.

“Oh no, I forgot my lunch in the classroom!” he whined.

“You can take mine,” Tohru offered.

“But then you'd have nothing to eat! It's not right,” Momiji objected.

“Momiji, surely you can head back to the classroom to pick up your lunch,” Yuki said. Momiji’s expression wavered at the suggestion.

“Surely I have more than enough for myself, have some, Momiji-kun!” Tohru said, already offering her lunch to Momiji.

“Maybe we all could give a bit,” Yuki said before Tohru would let herself go hungry. Soon enough Momiji had one of the most varying meals in front of him. At first Kyo had been reluctant to relinquish any of his food, but when Tohru had offered to give more of hers to replace Kyo's part, Kyo had grudgingly given his share.

The lunch break was spent in happy chatter. Saki was satisfied that the pair of Sohmas in your class had not been a bother to you, and everyone – Momiji, especially – was sharing anecdotes from their summer break. Once more, you got to explain your temporary living arrangements and reasons for coming to Kaibara High, but mostly you were just observing the conversation and the group dynamics. It was so nice to be among friends, though as you barely knew most of the group the feeling was a little bittersweet.

Far too soon, however, it was time to head back to class again. You all headed back indoors and bade your goodbyes as you diverged towards your respective classrooms. When you got to the corridor where your classroom was you noticed that your teacher was already almost at the door. Haru didn't seem to react in any way, but you picked up your pace and were soon speeding past Momiji. Why was it that today you seemed to be constantly late to your classes?

The teacher had stopped beside the door with her hand already on the doorknob to observe your arrival. She seemed a tad amused and you immediately guessed her to be much friendlier than the teachers you'd seen thus far.

“I take it that you're (l/n)-san,” she more stated than asked as you approached.

“Yes, sensei. Thank you for waiting for us,” you said and bowed. You were now standing beside the door but you weren't sure if you could rush in right in front of a teacher.

Haru, on the other hand, didn't have such problems.

“Just go in,” he said, gently pushing you forward with a hand at the small of your back. You were surprised with him standing so close to you, and you thought you could almost feel his breath on your neck. Slightly startled, you opened the door and headed to your seat. The teacher came in just behind the three of you, which you suspected looked very much like she had just lectured you for something and was now guiding you back to class. At least that was what your new classmates seemed to think, judging by your interpretation of the reactions in the room. You quickly got to your seat, trying not to look guilty.

The lesson was history, one of your least favorite subjects. It was so hard to remember all the dates and other trivial things. But at least the teacher made it more tolerable. She managed to make long ago happened – well, at least in your opinion it was in the far too distant past – wars, conflicts, and peace treaties almost interesting.

However, it wasn’t long before you found yourself scribbling notes for your story again instead of paying attention to your teacher. Oh well. Taking advantage of the inspiration when it hit you couldn't be a bad thing, could it? Besides, unless the teacher decided to read over your shoulder, it was unlikely that she'd realize what exactly it was that you were writing about, anyway.

**

The rest of the day passed without any significant incidents and soon you were waiting for Saki beside the entrance to the school grounds. You had already said your goodbyes to Haru and Momiji, and now you were flipping through your homework since you had nothing else to do. Patience wasn't your strongest suit, so you had to occupy yourself somehow.

“You didn't all get detention or something, did you?” you said jokingly when you saw Saki and the others approach. You stuffed the book back into your bag, pretty glad that you could avoid reading it for a little longer.

“Kido-sensei just couldn't stop her rambling about all the ups and downs of the history of the ship building industry,” Arisa said, rolling her eyes. You sucked in the air between your teeth, that did not sound like an engaging topic for the last lesson of the day.

“Tell me about it, that woman can get stuck on the smallest little details,” Kyo grumbled, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets.

“You still do not need to be so rude about it”, Yuki commented with a sharp look at Kyo’s direction. Kyo seemed ready to bristle and protest, but Tohru interrupted him.

“Um, I think we ought to start moving quickly, as it looks like it might rain soon,” Tohru said, catching the attention of both of the Sohmas. Kyo especially seemed unhappy with the thought of walking in the rain, though he still was eyeing Yuki quite pointedly.

“Alright, Tohru-kun, we’ll see you tomorrow,” Arisa said, which got everyone going on their goodbyes. Soon Tohru was walking away from you with Yuki and Kyo: Yuki beside her and Kyo a couple of steps behind. Something made you stare after them in thought, a little voice that was nagging about something in your head…

“I really wonder when Tohru-kun will finally figure out what's going on or one of those fools will actually do something!” Arisa said, sounding both amused and frustrated, and the realization that had been slowly forming for a while clicked in place in your head. Little clues had been scattered in front of you during the summer chats with Saki, Arisa and Tohru, but it wasn't until now that you understood them.

“Well, it is not for us to decide anything for them, is it?” Saki said evenly.

“I know, I know, but still...” Arisa trailed off and waved her hands in the air as if to explain her point.

“We just have to make sure that whatever happens it makes Tohru-kun happy,” Saki said and started to walk down the street, which reminded you and Arisa that you were still stuck standing beside the school.

The way Saki and Arisa seemed to be very protective over Tohru was something that you still didn't quite comprehend. It seemed to go much deeper than most friendships. To your knowledge Saki had been going through a difficult time when she met Tohru and Arisa, but you were pretty hazy on the details. Still, it was admirable how they were always supporting each other.

However, right now your curiosity was more piqued by the whole Kyo-Tohru-Yuki–situation.

“So, what _is_ up between those three?” you asked,  earning a sigh from Arisa.

“I doubt any one of them really knows." Saki answered. "I suppose Yuki-kun is the most self-aware of them, but neither Kyo-kun nor Tohru-kun seem to quite grasp the situation. Besides, those two Sohmas carry such darkness within them that I am not sure there is enough room for love in their hearts, and that is why I worry for Tohru-kun.”  


“Darkness?” You asked, surprised. Sure, Kyo seemed irritable enough, but you had not expected to hear that, in Saki’s opinion, both of the Sohmas had such considerable issues.

“It may not show on them, but it is very plain on their waves,” Saki said.

W hatever issues the boys had, it was no surprise they were drawn to Tohru.  That girl could radiate comfort and happiness unlike anyone you’d ever met.  You just hoped her extreme kindness would not lead  her  to take on more than she could carry.

You walked in silence for a  little while, all three of you deep in thought , until you remembered something.

“Sa-chan, could we stop by the library before heading home?” you said to Saki.

Being the bookworm you were, one of the first places you had wanted to find after arriving here had been the library. You basically devoured books and could easily spend hours and hours lost in the worlds that flooded out of the pages and took over you. When you took your spot curled up on the couch it was almost impossible to get your attention without using physical means.

“Sure. But you still have to do your homework,” Saki said, making you roll your eyes. Since when had she become such a mother?

“You can lock my books away while I'm doing homework if you think they’d distract me too much,” you said jokingly. You probably wouldn't have too much time to read today anyway since the teachers had given more than enough homework despite it being the first day of the term. Guess they thought you’d all be full of energy after the break.

“Well, I'm off, see you tomorrow,” Arisa said, and with a wave of her hand she went on her way while you and Saki corrected course towards the library.

A bit later you and Saki returned to the Hanajima residence. You were carrying quite a big pile of books, and Saki had also ended up picking up a few volumes.

“We’re home!” you announced as you entered the house. You were carefully balancing the stack of books on your arms while you tried to slip your shoes off. You could hear Saki’s mother Mai greet you back from the kitchen, apparently busy with housework. Megumi had gotten home before you and emerged from the living room as he heard your arrival.

“Is there any way you could visit the library more often instead of taking half of it with you at once?” Megumi said, a small smile on his face.

“Sure, but it’s better to be prepared, isn’t it? I don't want to end up craving something to read and having nothing to fulfill that craving,” you said, your stack wavering dangerously. Megumi stepped in to steady it as you finally got out of your shoes.

“Thanks, Meg-chan. Would you mind taking a few of these off me before I drop them?” you said to Megumi with a grateful smile. He took a few of the books from the top of your pile, making it much easier for you to keep it steady. It really was a shame you didn't have a bigger school bag so you could stuff at least some of the library books into it. As it was, you could barely make your school books fit in.

Getting up the stairs was a bit difficult when your vision was limited by the books, and your now much smaller pile still wavered a bit couple of times, but you finally made it into the room you and Saki shared.

At first you had strictly parted that room into two sections, but soon your belongings had traveled from one side to another and were now in one happy disarray. Some of your books had found their nest on Saki's shelves while she had placed some of her ornaments on your nightstand, but as long as you both knew where everything was – at least vaguely – it was no problem.

You thanked Megumi again for his help as you placed your books down on the desk and dropped your school bag on the floor. You got idly chatting about how your respective days had been, but soon you heard Saki’s mother call your name from downstairs.

“Coming!” you answered and rushed downstairs.

“Your mother is on the phone and would like to have a chat with you,” Mai told you. You supposed you should’ve expected your parents to be curious about your first day as well. You took the handset your aunt offered you, prepared for an onslaught of questions.

The next hour and a half were spent exchanging news of recent happenings. Previously you hadn't been that eager to tell your parents about your everyday life, it was your business, not theirs. But after you had parted with them you had realized you actually wanted to share your life's little moments with them. With the temporary physical distance between you, you felt the need to bridge the gap with sharing all the little, everyday things.

Of course, there were still certain aspects, such as how many good-looking Sohmas you’d seen today, that you'd rather keep to yourself. A certain Sohma especially had been quite catching your attention.


	3. Chapter 3

A couple of weeks passed quickly by and you found yourself liking your new life, as you tended to call it. You were starting to find your routine in your everyday life, not that every day followed the same pattern, but everything was stable and you knew how things happened, a situation you had always liked. You had made some pretty good friends and even the school was okay. You spent a great deal of your evenings on the phone, either talking with your parents or some of your friends from back home.

Yup, your life was pretty fine.

Hearing footsteps approaching from behind you hid your notes under your math book. Once again you had concentrated on your story ideas rather than the subject of the lesson. Your teacher, Ashida-sensei, reached you and mumbled something approving after checking your homework. However, there was a quick change in his tone when he turned to Haru and his notebook, which didn't seem to contain nearly as many completed exercises as the teacher would have liked.

“Hatsuharu-san, we do have to do something about this, don't you think?” Ashida-sensei said, an accusing tone in his voice.

“Maybe,” Haru said indifferently and you didn't even have to turn to see Ashida-sensei's face to know that he didn't like Haru's tone. Not at all.

“Young man, that kind of negligence isn't acceptable,” Ashida-sensei said strictly. Then, to your surprise, he turned to you.

“(l/n)-san, since you seem to be so well acquainted with mathematics, I think it would be appropriate for you to tutor Hatsuharu-san. Arrange it as you wish, but I expect to see some satisfying results.” With that he left you, and you were quite sure your dumbfounded expression was one hard to rival. You really hadn't had the chance to expect that.

“What about Tuesdays and Thursdays?” Haru said, making you turn to him.

“Huh?” Oh how intelligent you felt right now.

“Are you free to tutor on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”

“Oh, yeah, I should be.” You turned back to your notes, mentally scolding yourself for your dimwitted behavior. Why did you have to be so stupid right now? More precisely, in front of Haru?

Oh yeah, you had done the classic thing: fallen for your male friend. You hadn't even realized it by yourself, it had been your friend Chouko who had pointed it out. Over the phone, to boot! You would've never guessed you were that easy to read, but in the other hand Chouko had known you for years.

You enjoyed Haru’s company, and the two of you seemed to be getting along pretty well. He made you feel at ease, the way he wasn't demanding anything of you. Heck, you could walk on your hands the whole day, quacking as you passed, and he wouldn't mind. He'd still be as much of your friend.

But it would be a lie to say that your attraction was only based on how easy it was to be with Haru. Oh no, first of all it had been his looks that had stirred your interest, right on the first day you had met him and since then you had only begun to like his appearance more and more.

Yes, he was gorgeous. Sometimes it was oh so tempting to just stare at him, or to run your hand through his hair, or by the side of his face, or to rest your head against his shoulder, to wrap you arms around him, to rest in his lap, his hands around you... But you you tried to keep yourself from doing anything too silly. You were pretty sure you were just a friend to Haru, and you were far too afraid to try to change that, at least yet. Most certainly it would just lead into an awkward situation.

To you all this felt so cliche. But on the other hand, it gave you strange kind of comfort to know that there were also so many others that had faced this same problem. It was always nicer to suffer when you knew you weren't alone.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to you.

Today was Tuesday. You were supposed to tutor him today already? But you weren't prepared! And you had only two lessons left in the day, or maybe one and a half if you wanted to be precise.

It was only a matter of seconds before terrifying images occupied your mind. You could see myriads of opportunities for you to humiliate yourself or to mess things up.

You were so good at causing stress to yourself.

“(l/n)-san, could you do the last exercise on the blackboard?” Ashida-sensei said, forcing you to leave your self-induced woe for a little while. You got up from your seat and quickly ran a hand down your skirt to straighten it. Notebook in hand, you went to the board to write up your solution to the problem, like you had done in almost every math lesson thus far. You weren't that fond of gaining the status of the nerd or the teacher's pet, but if you were the only one who Ashida-sensei called to the blackboard with such regularity, you couldn't really help it.

When you were done you walked back to your seat and noticed that Haru wasn't taking notes, silently stubborn as usual. You couldn't help but smile a small, amused smile even though your feelings soon turned into desperation. How were you supposed to teach him if he wasn't the slightest bit interested in learning?

“As a part of your tutoring, I suggest that you write that down. We can go through it later in detail, if you want,” you said to Haru when you were seated again. Surprisingly obediently he took his pencil and began to take notes. So, maybe he actually did want to learn something? Or at least earn a passing grade.

“What is that number after 4, on the second line?” Haru soon asked you.

“6,” you replied. Haru scrutinized the blackboard a bit longer.

“Actually, could you just give me your notebook for a sec?” he said.

“Trust me, it's worse than what I wrote on that blackboard. There I at least tried to make it legible,” you said but gave him what he asked for anyway. At the same time you reminded yourself to concentrate more on your handwriting next time you were on the blackboard. Usually it was hard for others to understand your quickly written chicken scratch, sometimes it was difficult even for you, but you had thought that when you concentrated you could do better. Maybe you were wrong.

Haru stared at the page you had given him for a little while, and you thought you could see surprise and maybe even amusement on his face.

“I wonder how Ashida-sensei can tell whether you've done your calculations correctly or not,” he said. The hints of amusement you had seen earlier had turned into a gently amused smile.

“I guess that as a teacher he's gotten used to reading all kinds of penmanship,” you said and tried to seem nonchalant about it despite your rising embarrassment.

Now Momiji also seemed to notice that something interesting was going on and he peeked over your shoulder to see what Haru was holding.

“Wow, it's even worse than Shi-chan's!” Momiji said and seemed impressed. By now you were feeling a surprisingly strong urge to burn everything you'd ever written in a big bonfire and refuse to write with anything other than a computer or a typewriter ever again.

“Don't we have something else to do than be horrified by my handwriting?” you mumbled and took your notebook back from Haru. “I'll explain the exercise to you during the tutoring,” you added before trying to focus your attention towards the front of the class. This definitely had not been how you had hoped to see Haru smile at you!

By the time recess came around, you had mostly gotten over your embarrassment, though you still found yourself a little miffed by the situation. Mostly, however, you had gotten back to thinking about the tutoring and how on earth you were supposed to go on about it. You were about to ask Haru what he thought he needed help with when someone came up to you.

“May I bother you for a while, (l/n)-san? I'm Yumiko Saga, pleased to meet you” a girl said and bowed to you. She was speaking nervously, her words jumbling together. Her dark hair, somewhere between black and brown, went a little past her shoulders, and she had glasses covering her dark brown eyes. Her face seemed a bit too narrow, as if it had been stretched a bit from the forehead and the jaw, and her lips were a bit too thin to really fit, but her eyes, hair and innocent appearance made up a lot for that. Somehow she seemed smaller than you, even though she was about as tall as you were. It was as if she was turning inwards a little.

“The pleasure is all mine, Saga-san,” you said, rising up from your seat to bow as well. What was it that was making her so nervous?

“I heard Ashida-sensei ask you to help Hatsuharu-san with math,” Yumiko began, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. You nodded.

“So, I was wondering … if you could help me as well. I know you don't know me and that it will require a lot of work from you, but I'd really, really appreciate it if you could help me! Of course I would pay you for it,” Yumiko continued. Her words sped up and up as she went on, soon almost tripping on each other.

Suddenly you realized why she was so nervous. It was because of you. Because of meeting a new, strange person, and asking a favor from that person.

Intellectually, you could understand why Yumiko was feeling that way, as you probably would’ve been quite nervous in her situation as well. Still, it was weird to think that she was nervous because of you, of all people. Surely you weren’t that intimidating!

“Of course I can help you,” you said, smiling reassuringly. The way she was acting, you were feeling a surprisingly strong urge to help her out and make her feel more comfortable.

A delighted smile lit up Yumiko's face. “Thank you very much!” she said and no one could've mistaken her happy tone. She clasped her hands together at chest level, apparently ready to bow again in thanks, and in her joy seemed so adorable, so adorable! You felt the need to correct your first impression of her looks, right now she looked positively radiant.

“Are Tuesdays and Thursdays alright with you? We planned to have them as our study days, but I'm quite sure we can change them if needed,” you said. Seemed like you had encountered yet another contagiously happy person, as seeing Yumiko’s delight was making you smile wider as well.

“Thank you, that would be fine!” Yumiko said happily.

Behind you Haru and Momiji were talking about something, or Momiji was talking and Haru mainly listened, but you hadn't paid much attention to them. Suddenly you realized that your promises would affect Haru, as well.

“Haru-san, would it be alright by you if Saga-san were to join the tutoring sessions?” you asked and turned to him.

“Sure, if it isn't a problem for you,” Haru said.

“It shouldn't be. Besides, it depends pretty much on you two and how well you behave,” you said with a grin before turning back to Yumiko.

“So, how long have you known Hatsuharu-san and Momiji-san, anyway? I mean, it seemed like you knew them already on your first day,” Yumiko said, clearly curious, and sat on a desk behind your seat. She had crossed her legs, her hands were lying on her lap and her feet were swinging back and forth. The nervousness that had restrained her seemed to have been quickly swept away, and now she seemed energetic and not afraid to speak.

“I had just met them in the school yard before the first class. My cousin's friend knew them beforehand and introduced us,” you told Yumiko, a little surprised by her inquiries.

“Oh, so that's why! Who's this cousin you’re talking about, and that friend?”

_Wow, s_ _he really got over her shyness quickly_ , you thought to yourself, not sure if you should be amused or startled. Yumiko was leaning closer to you now, and if it wasn’t for her innocently curious manner, the situation would’ve soon started to feel more like an interrogation.

“My cousin is Saki Hanajima, a year older than us, and the friend I'm talking about is Tohru Honda,” you explained.

“Hanajima-senpai is your cousin?” Yumiko seemed truly surprised, and maybe even bit afraid. You had a feeling she hadn't even heard you mention Tohru.

“But they say that she can hurt people with her waves and that she can dig into anyone's head and reveal their most secret thoughts! I've even heard-” she leaned closer confidentially and lowered her voice, “-that she can control people by just looking them in the eye! Aren't you terrified being related to her? I feel so sorry for you! Has she used her abilities on you?” Yumiko seemed to believe all of her words and didn't let your dumbfounded expression bother her as she went on.

Suddenly you burst into laughter. “Trust me, Saga-san... She's nothing like that,” you told her. “Whoever has told you that knows nothing about her, absolutely nothing.  Sure, her waves can be harmful, but  she doesn’t use them like that. I mean, you’re probably not going around punching people just because you’ve got hands that you can clench into fists . Trust me, I've known her all my life,” you said to Yumik o .  Where in the world had she gotten all these ideas from?

“What's so funny? Tell me the joke, too!” Momiji said and suddenly he was standing between you and Yumiko, startling both of you.

“It's nothing, Momiji-san,” Yumiko mumbled, clearly embarrassed. You felt a bit bad for her and wished you hadn't laughed quite so obviously. Yumiko displayed every emotion so freely that it was easy to get caught up with them, and now you were getting sad with her.

“Naaaw...” Momiji expressed his wordless disappointment, but he didn't press either of you more.

“Um, so, if we’re getting started with the tutoring today already, where should we do it?” you asked, trying to change the topic. You didn't notice how Yumiko seemed to diminish, even more so when Haru also joined the group after turning his chair towards you. Her hand began to fiddle with the hem of her shirt again, and she lowered her head a bit, though that didn't matter much since she was still sitting higher than the rest of you.

“The city library?” Haru suggested.

“Sounds pretty good,” you agreed and then you turned to Yumiko.

“Is the library fine with you, Saga-san?” you asked since she didn't seem to answer voluntarily.

“Yes,” she answered in an obviously quieter voice than just moments ago. What was it that had made her so shy so suddenly? It was hard keeping up with her.

“So, the library it is,” you decided. At the same time your history teacher, Kido-sensei, came in and you all got quickly back to your seats. You glanced behind you to see where Yumiko's desk was and it was just then that you realized she was seated right behind you. You gave her a last, quick smile before settling down on your chair and trying to find any spark of interest in the subject at hand.

**

When the lessons finally ended you, Haru, and Yumiko left the school side by side after you had asked Momiji to tell Saki where you had gone.

“I thought Kido-sensei wasn't going to end the lesson at all,” you muttered, stretching out your arms. You had tried to pay attention, you really had, but around the second quarter of the lesson you had given up hope and concentrated on your own things. You just had to rely on studying the material on your own, like you usually did. It was just a shame it didn't usually work so well outside of mathematics and the like.

“You know how she is. Usually she really gets on the subject when there's only fifteen minutes left in the lesson,” Haru said, walking next to you with his hands in his pockets.

“And even then it's nothing that I might have even the slightest interest in learning,” you said sighing.

“I...I do think history is quite interesting,” Yumiko said in a small voice. You turned to her to see her eyeing you both warily as if she was a bit afraid of your reaction.

“I just wish I could say the same. As it is, I'm doing quite horribly,” you said and grimaced at your not-so-great success.

“Well... Maybe I could tutor you, then, as an exchange for your help?” Yumiko said, her eyes fixed on the pavement in front of her feet.

“If you could do that, it would be really helpful,” you said with a smile. You could practically see Yumiko absorbing confidence from your words.

“I’d love to be of assistance!” Yumiko said, happy again, and actually pumped her fist up in the air. To your surprise she was actually skipping along now. Some mood swings she had, you mused to yourself. She didn't seem to feel anything with only a half of her heart.

You went on talking about some trivial school matters and such. Haru was leading the way, occasionally commenting on something you were talking about. Suddenly, however, he stopped dead in his tracks. He was looking around as if searching for something and you became a bit suspicious. You glanced around as well, but nondescript apartment buildings was all you saw in the area around you.

“Um... Haru, where are we?” you asked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, feedback is always greatly appreciated. If you see any wonky English feel free to let me know about that as well, English isn't my first language so I wouldn't be surprised if I sometimes mess up idiomatic expressions and such.

“We're at some residential area of town,” Haru finally answered your question about your whereabouts. You almost felt like slamming a hand on your forehead – or maybe on his.

You probably should've remembered what you’d heard about Haru's ability to get lost _before_ you let him lead you to an unfamiliar part of the town. Well, technically he hadn't admitted that you were lost, but it seemed pretty obvious.

“Then, do either of you happen to know the route from this particular area to the library?” you said, a hint of frustration in your voice.

“I'm sorry, I don't know,” Yumiko said and looked genuinely apologetic. As if she was the one who needed to be sorry.

“We'll find the way eventually, don't worry,” Haru said dismissively and started walking again. How reassuring.

“Maybe we should head back the way we came instead of wandering aimlessly around,” you suggested, not moving after him.

“Sure, if you know the way back,” Haru said nonchalantly. At the moment, you really couldn't find his laid-back attitude as fascinating as usual. You glared at him.

“Well, I was following you, so I don't. What about asking someone?” you said. You weren't one to get angry particularly easily, but now you were definitely somewhat annoyed. Making a mistake was one thing, but pretending everything was going as intended was quite another.

Yumiko was eyeing you both warily, like a gauge that was constantly aware of your feelings, especially of your increasing annoyance. So, when she saw a chance to ease the emerging tension, she went to the nearest passerby before either of you could say anything.

“Excuse me, sir. Could you please tell us the way to the city library?” she said to a middle-aged man, who had been walking by with his grocery bags. The man furrowed his thin brows slightly, which made Yumiko stare intently down at his shoes. But soon he began a complex explanation about the way you should take and you could hardly believe your ears. How could you have gotten _that_ lost in such a short time?

Never, ever let Haru be the one to lead the way again, you reminded yourself.

“Thank you, sir,” Yumiko said, bowing, and let the man continue on his way.

“Let's go, then,” Haru said and turned to the right.

“I'm quite sure he said we have to go that way,” you said and pointed the direction with your thumb. Definitely not the direction Haru was going. Yumiko's eyes shifted from you to Haru as if she was wondering which side she should choose.

“If you say so,” Haru said, still unperturbed. You turned to lead the way and rolled your eyes when Haru couldn't see you do it. Couldn't he just admit that he was lost, when he clearly didn't have the slightest idea of where he was going?

Surprisingly enough it was you, the one who had just recently moved to the city, who finally got you to the library, almost an hour after you’d left from school. It seemed like Yumiko had been too nervous to really pay attention on the directions the man had given you, so she wasn’t much help in figuring out the right way to go. Haru's navigation skills – or the lack thereof – weren't even worth mentioning.

“Finally,” you breathed when you saw the familiar building in front of you. “Next time we have to remember to take a map and a compass with us,” you said, relaxed enough to joke now that you had actually made your way to your destination. You could hear Yumiko freely laughing at your words. She had finally relaxed when Haru chatted with her a bit more during your wandering. That was all that Yumiko needed to be her energetic self: a little sign of acceptance.

“There are some tables in the back,” Yumiko said, leading the way after you got inside the library building. You smiled a little as Yumiko took the lead. You definitely preferred this side over the shy and withdrawn Yumiko, who seemed like one harsh word could break her.

You found a nice table at the farthest corner of the library, surrounded by shelves full of gardening books and the like. This probably wasn't the most popular section of the library, so you were quite hopeful you wouldn't disturb many people or get disturbed yourself.

You dropped down to a seat, happy to be able to rest your feet after all that walking. Haru and Yumiko took their seats at the opposite side of the table and suddenly you felt quite nervous. You should probably start the tutoring, but what exactly did that mean?

“Well, maybe we should start off with how much you already know,” you said a bit uncertainly. You bent down to take your math book out of your bag, glad you could momentarily hide your face and the uncertainty that you were sure was plain on your features. You scrambled through your bag maybe a bit longer than was necessary, and when you got your stuff on the table you focused solely on the book in front of you.

“So, could either of you tell me how you calculate sine x if you know that cosine x is ¾?” you said after opening the book. Neither of them answered even after you dared to raise your eyes and look at them. Yumiko stared at the table as if she was embarrassed, while Haru simply looked at you. You shifted your eyes quickly away from Haru, you could've rested them on him for ages, but this was not the occasion for such things. Besides, it would've really hindered your concentration.

“Well, then. You know what sine and cosine mean, right?” you asked and they both nodded. Good, at least you didn't need to start off with the very basics. You began to explain to them how to solve the problem you had presented. At first neither of them seemed to understand and you were highly doubting your ability to teach anything to anybody, but as you tenaciously went on they seemed to finally get it. You made them do a couple of exercises on the subject and felt quite triumphant when both Yumiko and Haru succeeded in the tasks.

“Sensei, could you help with the homework we were given today, it's getting quite late already and I'd like to do at least a couple of exercises before we finish for today,” Yumiko said. Her formal way of addressing you made an amused smile spread to your face.

“No need for any sensei business,” you assured her, chuckling. Then you glanced at the clock. “It's that late already?” you said, or almost shrieked.

“And you still have to explain that exercise you did on the blackboard today,” Haru reminded you, leaning backwards on his chair.

“Oh yeah, that too,” you sighed. “I guess we'll start with the homework so we get at least that done today,” you said and flipped to the right page.

Both Yumiko and Haru had already finished with a couple of the homework questions, Yumiko one more than Haru. When Yumiko noticed this she turned to Haru to explain the missing exercise to him. They leaned close together, Yumiko showing her notebook to Haru and Haru staring intently at it while listening to Yumiko. For some reason you felt slightly annoyed. Weren't you supposed to be the one tutoring here? Of course it was good that Yumiko understood the question, and explaining the solution probably helped her to understand it even better, but it still bothered you.

Or maybe you were just jealous because you weren't in her place, sitting beside Haru and talking to him so closely?

You tried to shoo that kind of stupid thinking away immediately. You weren't going to become possessive. Especially because you had absolutely nothing to possess. Haru was a friend, a good friend, and your little crush gave you no reason to start getting silly. Right? Right.

After your little inner dialogue you put even more effort on focusing solely on your task and not thinking about Haru in any other way than as a student you had to tutor. It was much harder to do than it sounded, but you were reasonably satisfied with your success.

You were almost done with the homework when Yumiko looked at the clock again.

“Oh no, I really have to get going, or I’ll be late to my dance class! See you at school tomorrow!” Yumiko half yelled in quite a panicked voice. Yumiko packed her stuff into her bag in record time and she hurried away. You hardly managed to say your goodbyes before she disappeared between the bookshelves.

“Wow. That was fast,” you said and shook your head, a smile on your face.

“Maybe we should get going too,” Haru said. It really seemed like he wasn't going to study anything anymore. He was leaning back in his chair, his legs sprawled and his other hand resting against the backrest, a perfect image of relaxedness. Your heart made a little jump in your chest. Relaxedness wasn't the only thing you saw when looking at him.

Once again you made a quick move to hide your face by collecting your things from the desk and turning down to stuff them into your bag. Who knew how easy it might be to read your face? You'd better play it safe.

“Yeah, well enough studying for one day,” you said, your head still below the desk. You heard Haru pack his things as well while you took your time to fix your bag. When you finally straightened up you could see that Haru was ready to go.

“If I stop at any shelf, promise to drag me away. I already have enough books waiting for my attention,” you said to Haru in an attempt to act as normal again as possible. In your own ears your voice sounded a bit different than usually, but maybe it was just your imagination.

“Sure,” he simply said and nodded slightly. You made your way past the shelves and to the exit. Earlier, you had thought that the Sohmas had been exaggerating when talking about Haru’s ability to get lost. Now, however, you found yourself wondering if Haru’s sense of direction was bad enough to even get him lost in the library, had he been here by himself, and if he could make it back home without detours. Surely he should know the way to his own home?

You were so caught in your thoughts that Haru stopping outside the library doors caught you by surprise, making you take a few steps past him before you realized that he wasn’t walking anymore. When you turned to look at Haru, you could see him gazing up towards the skyline.

“Such a beautiful sunset today,” Haru said. You’d been so busy with the idea of getting back home that you had not even glanced at the sky, but now you followed Haru’s example and turned your eyes upwards. The buildings around you were relatively low, so you could see quite a big piece of the sky that seemed almost to be aflame.

You tried to recall the last time you had actually looked at the sky for more than just evaluating the weather, but you couldn't remember. You tended to spend most of your time indoors, and when you were out you were just getting from one place to another and stared more at your feet than anywhere above. But really, this was quite a sight to behold.

“Could you please move out of the way,” a snappy female voice came from behind you, bringing you out of your admiration. You dropped your gaze back to ground level to see an old woman dressed in all black looking sternly at the two of you. You stepped out of the way so she could walk past you before she got to say anything more venomous. Her gray bun was jostling about as she walked by and she seemed to mutter something to herself. Probably something about the youngsters of these days, but you didn't mind. You felt too happy for that. You had no idea why, but you didn't let that bother you either.

“Which way are you going?” Haru asked as you were walking again. He was taking long, lazy strides, and you found yourself speeding up to keep up with him.

“To the train station. A few of minutes in a train and two blocks of walking and I'm back at the Hanajimas,” you told Haru. It was pretty nice to walk with him, to be with just Haru for a while. You could create your own little illusions, like bubbles. You could see through them, you knew what the world was really like, but you could also see your little bubbles until they popped. Even though you didn't allow yourself to actually do something, you were more than willing to let yourself dream.

“Seems like we part here, then,” Haru said and stopped at the street corner. Pop, pop, pop, the bubbles went.

“You sure you know your way?” you said and grinned at him teasingly, trying not to show your disappointment over your parting.

“I should. See you tomorrow at school,” Haru said and turned to cross the street, casually waving goodbye to you.

“If I don't, I'll send a search party after you,” you called after Haru before continuing on your way. No way were you going to stare after him!

But you could take a quick peek. You glanced at him for a while as he wandered calmly among the crowd. With a little sigh you turned again to watch where you were walking, and you wondered if you really wanted your relationship to stay on just a friendly stage. Well, however it was, this was not something you had the power to decide by yourself. Not that knowing that stopped your mind from working.

You reached the train station just in time to see your ride speeding away. Such perfect timing. You sighed as you searched for an unoccupied bench to sit on. When you found one and had taken your seat you picked up your bag and rummaged through it to see if there was any homework that you could do. You picked up your dreaded history book and waded through a couple of pages before someone called your name. You jerked your head up and soon you spotted the source of the voice.

“Oh, hello Meg-chan. What're you doing here?” you said smiling and straightened up, quite glad for a chance to avoid your studies for a little longer.

“I was coming to see if you were coming home anytime soon,” he said. His words made you feel guilty for staying so late.

“I'm sorry, we got lost on our way to the library and it ate up a lot of our time,” you said. Megumi looked at you for a minute.

“I never thought I'd hear you got lost on your way to library. You could easily get hit by a car, but I thought nothing could disturb your compass that points straight to books,” he finally said, one quizzical eyebrow slightly raised.

“And why would I get hit by a car?” you asked, amused.

“You get so easily distracted and don't look at what's in front of you. You just walk,” he answered, and started moving towards the train that was now arriving to the station. You rose up from your seat, brushed your skirt with your hand and grabbed your bag before following him. You had not expected to see the next train already.

“Did Mai sent you to look for me?” you asked when you were onboard the train, your ticket safely in your hands.

“No. I just wanted to make sure you weren't hit by that car,” Megumi said. Out of everyone in the Hanajima family he was probably the one who felt the most need watch after you, even though you were older than him. Maybe it was some sort of compensation for all those times he had more or less accidentally cursed you when you were younger, or maybe he just thought that someone had to look over you.

“You shouldn't tear it apart just yet,” Megumi said and you realized your restless fingers had been twisting your train ticked.

“Alright dad,” you grinned. You put the ticket into your bag and before you even noticed it your hands were tweaking the hem of your shirt. This time, however, Megumi didn't say anything about it. It wouldn't be possible to save that shirt from your handling, he just hoped it would survive.

You got out at your stop and walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. With Saki and Megumi around you had learned that being silent wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It was possible to just be quiet and that time could be just as precious as the time that was spent talking, if not more.

When you reached the Hanajima residence, Saki opened the door for you before you even knocked.

“Did you have fun?” she asked you and you looked at her with a confused expression.

“Was I supposed to?” you asked. You had been studying, should that be fun?

“Usually you are when you go out with someone,” Saki explained calmly.

Maybe you should've seen something like this coming when you asked Momiji to be your messenger.

“Despite what Momiji might have told you, I was just tutoring Haru in math. As well as a girl form our class, Yumiko Saga,” you said as you stepped inside.

“That is a shame. Maybe you should ask him out, then,” Saki said. Your jaw was very close to dropping wide open. Luckily you had just bent forward to untie your shoelaces so your face wasn't visible. You were quite sure that Megumi was looking at you very curiously right now. Which in his case didn't alter his expression that much unless you knew how to read it.

“And why should I?” you asked, not quite reaching the indifferent tone you had been going for.

“You seem to want to.” Well, this wasn't a conversation you wanted to have in the entryway of the house.

“Dinner's ready,” Mai called from the other room and you felt relieved with the interruption. Hopefully she hadn't been listening.

“I'll just change my clothes,” you answered her and rushed upstairs. You could hear Saki follow you at her slower pace. You dropped your things by your bed and went to the closet to choose something more casual to wear.

“Please don't tell me that my demeanor is that obvious,” you said, head in your closet, when Saki entered the room.

“I haven't been around you enough at school to say if it is,” Saki said. So maybe, just maybe, you weren't the most obvious girl in the world.

“So it's the waves,” you muttered and sat on your bed after pushing a little heap of your things out of the way. “Do you-,” you began, but Saki cut you off.

“No, I don't know about Hatsuharu. You have to find that out by yourself,” she said calmly.

“Figures,” you sighed. Why were there never any shortcuts to knowing other people's – namely the person you had a crush on – feelings? It would've made things so much easier.

“Don't be too late for dinner,” Saki said and with that she left you. You changed your clothes and soon went downstairs after her, wondering if everyone else could read you like Chouko and Saki did and if you really were that obvious. And here you thought you had done a good job in keeping your budding feelings in check.


	5. Chapter 5

Weather permitting, it had become quite a habit for you to gather out in the schoolyard to have your lunch together with Saki, Tohru, Arisa and the Sohmas. You greatly enjoyed your time spent with the group, even if there was fairly regular tension with Kyo coming to blows with Yuki or Arisa. However, by now you had gotten used to these outbursts, and generally they amused you with how predictable the bickering tended to be.

This time you had followed up the lunch with some card games. You’d always considered yourself a fairly competitive person, but you didn’t hold a candle to the way some of the others – Kyo and Arisa, mostly – got invested in the game. Saki certainly played seriously, too, but she didn’t do it with such an obvious ardor.

“You’re cheating with your waves, aren’t you!” Kyo complained loudly after Saki trumped his cards yet again. He was pointing an accusing finger at her, his cards nearly forgotten in his lap. Saki was looking at him through half-lidded eyes, apparently unperturbed and waiting for the next player to make their move.

“Hey, carrot top, don’t blame her if you can’t play the game,” Arisa answered with a smug look on her face. She was sitting with one knee raised from the ground, with her extended arm propped up against the leg.

“You’re one to speak, you got out of the game first,” Kyo retorted, turning his ire towards Arisa. With the way they were staring at each other you could sense another fight coming up.

“Yeah, and then you’re gonna call her a yankee and you’re both going to dramatically stand up and have a staring contest with a helping of snide comments, can we just skip that and get on with the game,” you said wryly, placing your own cards in play with as casual of an air as you could muster.

“Hey!” Kyo and Arisa protested in unison, turning their heads towards you and then at each other, apparently surprised to hear the other one speak up as well. Their reactions made you chuckle to yourself. They really were predictable sometimes.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Momiji said suddenly, apparently forgetting that it was his turn to play next. “I hear there’s a traveling carnival in the city, we should go and visit after school!” Momiji’s eager eyes went over the group, as if inviting everyone.

“Sure!” you and Tohru said almost at the same time. You turned to Tohru, amused at your synchronicity. “No work today?” you asked her, remembering her crammed work schedule.

“No, I've got a day off. Yuki-kun, Kyo-kun, will you be coming?” Tohru said, turning to the two older Sohmas with a smile that you suspected was melting both of the boys.

“A carnival, eh? That should be interesting,” Arisa said, with a dangerous glint in her eyes. You suspected she was looking forward to trying out the more extreme rides available at the carnival.

Meanwhile, Saki had beaten the rest of you in the card game. She really had too much of a poker face for you to figure her out, whereas you suspected yourself to be more of an open book, especially to her. With a small sigh you leaned backwards, supporting yourself by your arms. Maybe next time you’d have bit more luck with your card draw.

“You’ll be coming too, Haru-san?” you asked, turning your head towards him. Haru had gotten knocked out of the card game fairly early, but he had stayed seated between you and Yuki to watch the rest of the game unfold. While focused on the cards you had nearly forgotten about his presence, but now you were very conscious of not leaning too close to him.

“Yeah, it sounds like fun,” Haru answered with a smile. He was lounging similar to Arisa, one arm resting on his raised knee. You took in the sight of him, the laid-back aura that he exuded and the casual way he carried himself.

“Great!” you replied, returning his smile, before dragging your eyes away from Haru and towards the playing cards. It wouldn’t do to be caught staring, after all.

“Another game?” you asked everyone and took up the deck to shuffle it.

**

It was one of those traveling carnivals which came into a city, mounted their carousels, roller coasters and stalls for a week or so and then left again for another place. As a child you had always visited such carnivals when they came into or near your little town, but now you realized that it had been quite a few years since you did that the last time. Now it actually felt quite nostalgic to be experiencing it again.

You’d gathered up after school and made your way to the carnival, along with many other students. As soon as you entered the carnival grounds you were wrapped in a cacophony of noises: laughter, chatter, yelling and everything that a large crowd and enterprising stall-keepers could utter. And the smell of food, of butter, salt and spices... Your stomach really noticed the scents and with a little growl it reminded you to direct your body towards something edible soon.

With the atmosphere around you you could still almost reach the magnificent glory you had experienced as a child. The wonder over the toys you could win, the excitement of riding in the carousel and the teacups. However, the feeling lasted only for a moment. Sometimes it was so dull to grow up.

But to more pressing matters: what to do first?

“We should find the wildest ride here and see if it's worth anything,” Arisa said with a danger-yearning glint in her eyes.

“I saw a fortune teller's tent a little further away that might be interesting,” said Saki, a slight hint of interest evident in her usually stable tone.

“I wanna try to win something there!” Momiji said enthusiastically. He was pointing at a stand where a clown was sitting on a plank and people tried to hit the target behind him to drop him down into the water. You supposed there were prizes to be won, as well, but just dropping the clown would probably be enough for some people.

Indeed, there were many interesting things to try. To you each of those suggestions seemed appealing and you couldn't really choose what you'd like to do first.

“Maybe we'll just choose what is closest and proceed from there?” Yuki said and everyone seemed to agree with him, despite Kyo's grumbling.

“What about Dracula's Bloodcurdling Castle?” Haru said and pointed at the structure behind you. You turned around to eye it, but not before you caught the horrified expression on Tohru's face.

“Tohru, maybe we could go try the games while the others visit the castle?” Momiji said and took a hold of her hand. It didn't seem like Momiji was in any way scared, which made you assume that he did it for Tohru. Tohru agreed readily, looking relieved, and the two were soon beside the stall. Momiji gazed longingly at the plushies, while Tohru adored the cute little trinkets that were among the prizes.

“Let’s get going, then,” Arisa said, looking determined to see what the haunted house had to offer. Everybody agreed, so you moved to the tail end of the meandering queue in front of the so-called castle.

Suddenly an especially strong whiff of food reached your nose, which made your stomach send another warning upstairs. Looking around, you quickly spotted a food vendor that caught your eye.

“I think I'll get myself popcorn, does anyone else want anything?” you said to everyone, pointing towards the stall.

“This place makes you hungry?” Arisa said, amused, and tilted her head towards Dracula's Bloodcurdling Castle.

“The queue's long enough that I might as well eat something while standing around,” you said with a smile. “So, anyone else?” you added, looking around the group.

You and Yuki ended up walking to the popcorn stand together so that you could bring back enough popcorn for everyone. By now you were feeling quite hungry and your stomach was using more and more remarkable means to make that clear. You almost felt like telling it to shut up, but you suspected that talking to your belly in public would just make you look like a loony.

“I hear that you were planning on becoming the student council president,” you said to Yuki while you were waiting in line to the popcorn kiosk.

“Ah, yes, Takei Makoto-san has very kindly been showing me what sort of duties that position entails,” Yuki answered, polite as ever.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll handle it fine. I mean, the first I saw you, you were helping some poor nervous freshman who seemed like he’d rather go hide in a ditch than get to school, and you seemed to calm him down just like that,” you said, still amused by the memory. Sure, you felt bad for whoever the boy was, but it had also been quite a curious sight.

“Oh, it’s nothing special, really,” Yuki objected, emphasizing his words with the dismissive movements of his hands.

“But it is, though,” you interjected. “You and Tohru-kun both have such a good way of helping people out.” Yuki seemed a little taken aback by your comparison, but quickly composed himself.

“Honda-san… she certainly has a way of seeing the good in everyone,” Yuki said. He was looking away, almost dreamily, and his polite expression was replaced with a genuine gentle smile.

“It’s a good thing she’s got so many friends to keep her out of trouble, I suppose,” you said with an amused smile. As admirable as Tohru’s positive attitude was, you worried that it left her wide open for trouble to find her.

Soon enough you acquired your popcorn and made your way through the crowd to get back to the others. In your absence they had actually gotten closer to the entrance, but there was still plenty of queue left before you’d be able to enter. You and Yuki distributed your spoils, and soon you were merrily munching away to satiate your demanding stomach.

“We'll never get in at this rate,” Kyo grumbled after a little while.

“Have a little patience, you stupid cat,” Yuki calmly said back.

“Who are you calling stupid?!” Kyo spat back, nearly dropping the last of his popcorn as he spun around towards Yuki.

“Are you too stupid to realize who I'm talking to, stupid cat?” Yuki said, his expression not faltering.

“That really sprang out of nothing,” you said to no one in particular, rolling your eyes. You were glad the Sohmas in your class weren’t prone to such outbursts.

“Just the fact that Tohru isn't here right now doesn't give you two the permission to start that nonsense again,” Arisa said to the arguing boys and made them turn their surprised faces at her. You stifled your laughter after seeing their expressions, they really looked like they had been caught red-handed.

You had plenty of time to finish your food before you even got into the haunted house. But finally you were at the front of the line, ready to step inside. In the shadows beside the entrance was a young man, maybe in his early twenties, dressed in a dark suit with a red-lined cloak on his shoulders. His face was pale, probably due to make up you thought, his hair black and neatly swept back. He even had some sort of fangs sticking out of his mouth.

“Do you dare to step inside the castle and face all its horrors? More importantly, do you think you can survive alive? Young men, take care of your precious sweethearts. Remember, count Dracula can hardly resist fresh blood in a young body,” the man said grandiosely before opening the door for you.

You couldn't help a small laugh as the man apparently thought you all were dating. Well, the numbers did match, but otherwise you couldn't see anything that could be mistaken as signs of romantic interest between any of the members of your group.

A little fleeting thought that wondered if Haru's behavior was behind the greeter’s mistaken impression was quickly shooed away.

You were now standing in a narrow, barely lit corridor and were forced to form a queue of some sort to get forward. Kyo went in first, then Saki and Arisa side by side. You followed after, with Haru half behind you, half next to you. Yuki came in last, as far from Kyo as possible.

You had the time to take only two or three steps before a creepy laughter echoed from somewhere above you. It more surprised that scared you, though you had to admit that combined with your environment the sound was quite unsettling.

“Ha ha to yourself,” Arisa answered harshly. You couldn’t quite decide if she was genuinely unbothered or if this was her way of dealing with the scare.

The next moment stumbling steps and Kyo's surprised exclamation from in front of you warned you to walk more carefully. Soon Saki reached the same spot and told all you walking behind that there were a couple of steps going downwards.

“Seems like they want someone to break their neck here,” you muttered. The steps weren't marked properly, and you could just picture someone stumbling down them.

"The scariest part of the whole castle," Haru said, getting a small chuckle out of you.

You were going down the steps when something seemed to descend upon you, making you cry out and stumble backwards towards Haru. Luckily, he managed to catch you before you fell over him or down the stairs. You couldn't help the embarrassment when you saw what had startled you: a ghost that looked very much like it was made of sheets. See you later, dignity.

“Thanks, sorry about that, Haru-san,” you said in an embarrassed tone. You weren't sure just how much you'd yelped and flailed your arms around, but you suspected you'd probably made quite a fool out of yourself.

“Good thing you didn’t fall over,” Haru said close behind you. His hands were still on your shoulders, as if to keep you steady, and you couldn’t decide if you were glad about him catching you or embarrassed about him needing to do so.

“You ok?” Arisa asked, sounding more amused than worried.

“Yeah, that thing just surprised me,” you answered, abashed. Here you had thought you wouldn’t be afraid, and still you had screamed like a terrified girly-girl who’d seen a spider. Oh damn. You'd rather feel like a rational, capable young woman.

You also shouldn't take some things you did too seriously.

Haru reached an arm past your shoulder to pull the linen ghost out of your way. In the process his fingers ended up brushing against your cheek, making you flinch in surprise. In a different situation you might have enjoyed Haru’s closeness, but right now you were more busy with being irritated at how skittish you were being.

Haru held the ghost to the side as you went down the remaining two steps. The floor under you was made of some soft and slightly sticky material, probably meant to soften the fall if someone tripped. It almost squelched under your feet, making you even more thankful that you had not fallen face first against the floor.

Mostly Dracula's Bloodcurdling Castle was just about meant-to-be-terrifying noises and suddenly-jumping-around-the-corner-saying-boo kind of scares. Each of you got their share and even the laid-back Haru got a bit startled – once. There was also an unfortunate episode when a cardboard figure sprung out of the wall near Yuki, who was distracted with exchanging some words with Haru and you. His reflexes worked before his thoughts and so he ended up punching his hand through the figure. Kyo of course mocked him for this, attacking mere cardboard, but you were more amazed by the speed and force he had showed. Seemed like the prince also knew how to fight.

“I’m going to find someone to pay for the damage I caused. You can go ahead, this may take a while,” Yuki said to you all after you had gotten out of Dracula's Bloodcurdling Castle.

“I can come with you,” Haru offered, taking a step in Yuki’s direction.

“I'm off to find Tohru. If she's been this long with only Momiji she's probably gotten in some kind of trouble,” Kyo interrupted and vanished into the crowd. Yuki shot a stern look after him, flashing an emotion you didn't have the time to recognize before his expression returned to what it usually was, distant politeness. Still, Yuki’s look bothered you and for some reason you remembered again how he had punched through that cardboard figure.

“I truly mean it, you don't have to bother yourself with this,” Yuki said firmly to Haru, who seemed to give in.

“If you say so,” Haru said, shrugging his shoulders. Yuki went off to find a staff member and the rest of you scanned your surroundings to determine what to do next.

“Hey, there’s a roller coaster over there! Come on!” Arisa said and raised her hand to point the way. You eyed the ride critically. It didn’t seem too rickety or over-the-top, so you followed the others to the roller coaster.

“The Ride at the Himalayas,” you read aloud, amused. “They really have some dramatic names here.”

Surprisingly enough, the queue wasn't as bad as in front of the castle and in a relatively short time you were let in. Arisa and Saki climbed into the seats at the front of the car, which left you and Haru sitting side by side behind them.

“You're not too uncomfortable?” Haru asked after he had squeezed himself beside you on the narrow seat.

“Well, at least I can still breathe, more or less,” you joked with a grin. You reached up for the security bar and Haru helped you pull it down until it clicked on its place, pinning you on your seats. With the fairly narrow seat you couldn’t help having your side against Haru’s, your bodies touching from your shoulders to your knees. He felt firm against you, and you found yourself looking intently ahead until your car started moving on the track.

As you had suspected, the roller coaster wasn't particularly scary. There were some high rises and falls and tight turns in which you started to feel like you'd surely fall down from the track, but not once were you turned upside down or shaken too violently. Still, you refrained from looking down. Maybe your fingers held the security pole quite tightly, with slight paling of your knuckles, and maybe your facial expression was a bit stern, but that didn't mean you didn't enjoy the ride in that slightly terrifying way that was expected in this sort of devices.

“That was fun,” Haru said beside you when the car was gliding back to the platform. You glanced at him to see that his hair had gotten ruffled by the wind and there was a wild sort of look on his usually calm face.

For some reason your stupid heart decided to skip a beat at that liberated sight, and you mentally scolded the organ for doing such a thing. He did look good, no one in their right mind would deny that, but that wasn't a reason for your heart to start taking such leaps.

As usual, your heart was happily unaware of your thoughts and carelessly continued its pumping.

“Yeah, it was,” you agreed and smiled excitedly, loosening your grip on the bar.

“No, it wasn't! Too slow and boring!” Arisa complained in front of you as she lifted the security bar to get out of her seat. You and Haru rose to do the same, but you found that your shirt had somehow gotten stuck to the back of your seat. Afraid of ripping your clothes, you tried to carefully reach your arms around to detach yourself.

“Do you need help?” Haru asked when he turned to see what was the problem.

“I think I’ve got it,” you answered. Honestly, you had trouble reaching for the stuck spot without pulling the fabric of your shirt, but you also didn’t want to cause a fuss.

“Tohru is near, I can sense her waves. She seems quite troubled,” Saki said at the same time and alerted Arisa. They were already standing on the platform, waiting for you and Haru to get out.

“Then we should go find her,” Arisa decided and rushed to look for Tohru, Saki just behind her. Neither of them seemed to notice that you and Haru weren't following.

“Let me help you,” Haru murmured and slipped his hand behind your back. You couldn’t help tensing slightly under his touch as his fingers worked carefully to detach you, gently massaging you in the process.

“Got it,” Haru said, pressing more firmly against your back and unhooking your shirt from the chair. “There was a sharp bit there that dug onto your shirt. There’s a bit of a snag on the fabric but not too much of a hole,” Haru informed you as you stood up.

“Thank you for the help, Haru-san,” you said with a smile. Goodness, you had no right to feel as flustered as you did right now!

“It’s nothing,” Haru said with a small smile. He extended a hand, which you took after just a moment of hesitation, and helped you onto the platform with him. It was just then that you noticed that Saki and Arisa had disappeared.

“I didn't know we were that unpleasant company,” you said, looking around to find your missing companions.

“I think they went to find Tohru,” Haru said, scanning the crowds.

“I'm afraid it's quite impossible to find anyone in here,” you said and moved your hand to motion vaguely at the crowd. “Besides, Saki can probably find us easier than we can find her. She’s been telling me that you Sohmas have pretty distinctive waves that make you easy to spot, even in a crowd, so it probably won’t be hard for her to find you.”

You noticed Haru looking surprised with your words, and realized that maybe he wasn’t actually aware of Saki’s abilities.

“Oh, I’m sorry, if Saki hasn’t been talking about it then I definitely shouldn’t be babbling on about her business. It’s nothing to worry about, anyway, she’s just … sensitive to other people, in a way,” you said, fumbling for words. You felt like you couldn’t leave your comment completely unexplained, but it also wasn’t for you to divulge the details.

“I see,” Haru said, nodding, and you were thankful he didn’t prod you for any more information.

“I suppose if we want the others to find us, we should wait here for them,” you suggested. Running around would just make you miss each other.

“We should probably find somewhere to sit or at least get a little out of the way,” Haru said, and you agreed.

You looked around the carnival grounds again, both for your friends and for a place to wait at for a little while. Soon your eyes landed on a kiosk nearby that was selling cotton candy. Before long you and Haru were busying yourselves with some fluffy goodness. Finding free seats turned out to be quite impossible, so you resigned yourselves to eating standing, trying to stay out of the way of the other carnivalgoers.

Haru took a bite of his cotton candy and you couldn't help chuckling slightly when you noticed that some of the pink treat had stuck into his face, perfectly under his nose. Haru sent a questioning look in your direction, but otherwise he seemed unfazed by your outburst of amusement.

“You know, that pink mustache doesn't really suit you,” you informed him, smiling mischievously. Haru's hand went to his face and delivered the cotton candy to its rightful place, into his mouth.

“Thought it would be worth trying,” he said, busy with the rest of his treat. You just kept on smiling.

“You know, I think the last time I had cotton candy was when I was still a little kid. My grandma used to take me to the carnival when it visited, and this is really bringing me back,” you said. It was surprising how just the taste of cotton candy was bringing memories flooding back to your mind.

“We usually had a hard time getting any of the adults to take us to places like this, so I’ve never visited a carnival before,” Haru said. You looked at him with surprise.

“What about amusement parks?” you asked.

“Same deal,” Haru said, finishing up his cotton candy.

“In that case, we really shouldn’t be wasting our time hanging around,” you said, suddenly determined. You had such wonderful memories of spending time in carnivals and amusement parks that you wanted Haru to have a share of some of that, too. Besides, from the look of it he had quite enjoyed the roller coaster you had been on.

On one hand you felt a little silly going ahead with just the two of you when the intention had been to visit the carnival as a group. On the other hand, the fact that you had lost the others didn't mean that you shouldn't still enjoy your time here.

“Do you wanna try the swings? It doesn’t shake you around too much, so it should be fine even if you’re not that used to amusement rides,” you said to Haru as you spotted the ride a little way off from your current location. You could see the chairs suspended on the spinning, circular top, filled with people.

“Sure, it looks like fun,” Haru said with a smile, and you couldn’t help smiling in return. You could really get used to seeing such a happy expression on his face.

“Great! It’s one of my favorites, and if nothing else you usually get a pretty nice view from up there,” you said and started leading the way through the carnival grounds. You were determined to help Haru have as good of a carnival experience as possible.


	6. Chapter 6

When you made your way to the swings, you were faced with a fairly long, meandering line leading to the ride. You sighed.

“I always forget just how bad the lines get,” you as you and Haru took your places at the end of the line.

“I suppose the popularity is a good sign,” Haru said. You nodded in response, resigning yourself to waiting.

Your hands soon meandered over to the shoulder strap of your bag, twisting it this way and that, while your eyes flitted about your surroundings. Your earlier determination was soon giving way to boredom, which in turn left your mind a little too unoccupied, free to pore over your current situation. Here you were, alone with your crush – in a crowd, but still – suddenly very conscious of yourself. Had you been saying something stupid while around Haru? Was it weird that you were just standing here, not saying anything and probably looking quite obviously bored? Certainly you didn’t want Haru to think that his company was somehow lacking and thus the cause of your restlessness.

“So, seeing as you don't exactly frequent amusement parks, what sort of stuff do you usually spend your free time with?” you asked Haru, trying to fill in the silence that suddenly seemed very awkward to you.

“I’ve been doing karate since I was a little kid, that takes up quite a lot of my time. Otherwise, I like to put together jewelry pieces sometimes. Stuff like that, mostly,” Haru said. You turned to look at him, surprised.

“Jewelry? Like these ones?” you said, gesturing towards Haru’s necklaces.

“Yeah. This one is quite old by now,” Haru said, bringing up the pendant that hung lowest on his chest, “but this one I made a few months ago,” he continued, fingering the short, beaded chain that was almost a choker in length.

“Wow, I had no idea, by the looks of them I thought they were store-bought or something,” you said, looking over the necklaces with a new appreciation.

“Some of the parts are, but otherwise they’re all my making,” Haru said, casual under your scrutinizing eyes. You took hold of the pendant, examining it more closely and appreciating Haru's handicraft.

“That is impressive, you know. I guess that way it is also much easier to get things just in the style you want them,” you said. You could recall several occasions when a small detail had turned you off from buying something you would’ve otherwise enjoyed, and as uncaring as Haru seemed to be of other people’s opinions, you suspected he still put a lot of thought in his appearance.

“Yeah, though sometimes finding just the right parts can be a real pain,” Haru said.

As you made your way along on the queue you inquired Haru about a few more details, the sort of tools and parts he used and what kind of things he liked to make. You found yourself genuinely curious, and Haru made the whole process sound much simpler than you would’ve imagined it to be. You didn’t really know how to make anything with your hands, so hearing Haru explain the details was quite fascinating.

When it was finally your turn to get on the swings, you actually found yourself a little disappointed with having to break the conversation. However, the feeling was quickly swept aside with the thrill of traversing high in the air, your feet swinging freely as the machine spun you around.

Seeing Haru tousled and excited after the ride was a definite bonus.

With Haru so obviously enjoying himself you went on to try the other rides. During queuing you got Haru to tell you a little more about his martial arts training, the sort of things he did for practice and how he liked it all. After a few meandering turns in the conversation – punctuated by getting tossed around in various devices – you ended up talking about your family and the life you had led before moving here. Haru seemed genuinely interested in listening to you and you were glad to tell him about your lovely little hometown, even if it also made you feel a bit homesick.

“You miss it there, don't you,” Haru more stated than asked.

“Yeah, I do. I mean, I like it here and all, but I do miss the people,” you said and Haru nodded.

“It usually is the people that make certain places really important, isn’t it,” Haru said with a thoughtful look.

“People or memories, I suppose. Though I guess often that is the same thing,” you answered. You couldn’t help looking at Haru curiously, wondering what – or whom – he was thinking about that seemed to so move him away from the here and the now.

With all the rides you were starting to feel a little nauseous, thinking of something a little gentler to do next. Besides, there was still something you hadn’t done that for you was part of the required carnival program. Soon enough you spotted just the thing you had been looking for.

“Do you want to go to the carousel?” you asked Haru.

“Sure,” Haru said with a nod. You’d been trying to downplay your enthusiasm, but now your expression brightened. For you carousel rides had been an important part of the carnival experience long after you got old enough to take on the wilder rides. However, some of your friends had been adamant about not riding the carousel once they felt too old for it. You were glad Haru wasn’t part of that group.

Once in the carousel, you went to sit in a highly ornamented carriage with a small awning. The seats were padded, and after checking the cushions for any more sharp surprises you readily leaned backwards to a comfortable position, as did Haru beside you. All the standing in lines was wearing down on your feet, and you were glad to sit down for a moment.

“So, how has your first carnival experience been? I suppose the company has been a little lacking with everyone disappearing, but other than that,” you asked Haru as the carousel started moving.

“It’s been great,” Haru said, somehow lounging despite the somewhat confined space. “On both counts.” You couldn’t help your smile on hearing his words. Apparently your mission on helping Haru have a proper carnival experience had been a success.

“In that case I guess you’re ready to graduate for a full amusement park next,” you said jokingly, humor glinting in your eyes as you looked at Haru.

“You do me too much honor, sensei,” Haru said, managing a small bow on his seat. You laughed.

“I guess the student has surpassed the master, because I’m starting to feel a little too ill for anything more than carousel rides, whereas you look ready for quite a few more rounds,” you said, amused. Haru indeed looked as comfortable as ever, sitting there next to you. Now that you weren’t busy with being self-conscious you could feel Haru’s calm presence sweep over you, leaving you looking at him with a small smile lingering on your face. You couldn’t decide which delighted you more, his comfortable aura or his delectable looks.

The carousel coming to a stop jostled you out of your daze and had you busy yourself with getting yourself out of the ride. Had you really just been staring at Haru like a buffoon? You could’ve slapped yourself.

“I suppose we really should find the others,” you muttered, your hands busying themselves with your sleeves. It was getting late, anyway. Still, you were quite disappointed with the idea of your time with just Haru coming to an end. You had enjoyed taking him through the rides, and the conversations you’d been having in the meanwhile. Nice little peeks into Haru’s thoughts.

You stood on your toes at the edge of the carousel platform in an attempt to see across the crowd, but still had no luck in spotting Saki or the others. Haru didn’t seem to do any better, so you started an aimless walk around the carnival grounds with the hopes of finally finding your friends.

You didn't get far, though, before you heard someone calling your name. You turned towards the voice, believing it was one of your companions. However, the group you saw didn’t include anyone you knew.

Three girls were approaching you, determinedly making their way to you. None of them looked familiar, which left you puzzled as to how they knew your name and why you were of interest to them.

The trio stopped to stand in a line in front of you and you couldn't help but find them pretty intimidating, the way they were standing in formation with stern looks on their faces. You glanced quickly at Haru to see if he knew these girls, but he didn't seem to pay them much mind.

“You were talking to prince Yuki earlier today, correct?” the girl on the right right said, staring you down.

“I believe so, why?” you said, a little wary. You were still a little hazy on the whole prince business as you had assumed it to be just Arisa’s mocking nickname to Yuki. Apparently it was much more widespread than you thought.

“Then we must inform you of a few things since you apparently aren’t aware of the rules,” the middle girl said. You looked at her quizzically. The rules? She made it sound like the most obvious thing in the world.

“Firstly, you are to not talk to the prince alone. Secondly, you are to address him suitably and with respect. Thirdly, you are not to take any of his belongings or to visit his home,” the girl continued, counting the points with her fingers. There was an almost frightening fervor about her.

“What on earth are you talking about?” you asked, unable to hide your bafflement. Not taking someone’s things? Shouldn’t that be something you learned in kindergarten, and something that was generally applicable to everyone, not just to the so-called prince? Maybe you should've treated the girls like they tell you to deal with unhinged people, agree in everything they say in order to keep them calm, but you couldn't help asking. This was just _weird_.

“We at the Prince Yuki Fan Club simply want to protect our beloved prince Yuki! And in order to protect him everyone must obey these rules!” the girl on the left exclaimed. Oh geez. You didn't know whether you should laugh or be afraid.

“So you think it's right that you invade his personal life? You think it's right that you stalk him everywhere like the creepy little bitches that you are and watch his every little movement? You think it's right? You think he likes it? Because obviously, he couldn't be happier if all you lovesick maniacs went off and died one day.” You couldn't believe it was Haru who said those words. What happened to the calm, collected and laid-back Haru you had come to know? Now it seemed like a completely different person was standing in his place.

Haru took a couple of steps towards the shocked fangirls, with an intense and stormy look on his face. You had to admit the girls were brave at least, because after a moment’s hesitation they seemed to stand their ground. You weren’t even the target of Haru’s attention, and he was still making you nervous.

“Y-you don't understand it, you can't understand our undying love towards the prince! We're just doing this for his own good!” the girl in the middle said, gaining confidence again.

Correction: they weren't brave, they were just plain stupid.

“Your undying lust and obsession, you mean,” Haru snorted, cracking his knuckles. You had no idea about how far he could go, but you suspected something should to be done and fast.

“Alright, Haru-san, I think you’ve scared them quite enough already,” you said and reached for Haru’s arm. You weren’t exactly enthusiastic about getting on his way, but come on, this was getting ridiculous.

It seemed that your words only served to alert Haru to your presence, as he turned to you and took a tight, almost painful hold of your wrist. He yanked you beside him, making you take a few stumbling steps to avoid falling over.

“See?” Haru said, gesturing towards you with his other hand. “She's worth ten times more than a dozen of you. She's got some sense in her. You know, something you little fools lack. Besides-”

Haru’s gray eyes were scanning your features, his smirk something you didn't know whether to fear or be fascinated by. Maybe this confusion was what frightened you the most, the way you seemed to almost like that cocky grin, those piercing eyes, the closeness of his body... After all, he was the same guy you had found most interesting just a few moments ago. And yet at the same time you felt like smacking some sense into him, or maybe scurrying away from the whole situation.

“Besides, she's also ten times as good-looking,” Haru finished, his smug grin widening. Well, now you were certain that he was just using you to mock the fangirls. You looked decent enough, but certainly not that good.

“Now you’re just being a jerk,” you said, trying to loosen Haru’s grip on your wrist.

“Just stay where you are like a good girl,” Haru said in a low voice, his breath tickling your ear. You couldn't help the shiver running along your spine.

You also couldn't help dreading what Haru could be up to next.

“What do you know about our pure love towards the prince? Absolutely nothing,” the middle girl said, still daring to oppose Haru, though the other two seemed more wary. You had a feeling people were starting to stop and stare at what was happening.

You took in a big, deep breath before opening your mouth again.

“Alright, alright, I think all of you dramatic people have made your point,” you said, pointedly ignoring Haru’s hold on you while trying bring some order to the situation. “I have heard your … _rules_ and I will take them into consideration in the future. And you,” you turned to Haru and did your best to keep your voice firm over his attempted interruption, “have made it _very_ clear what sort of a place these rules are coming from, and I will take that into consideration while ignoring these rules.”

“Come on now, we’ve got people to find,” you said to Haru as you turned your back on the girls and started walking, hoping Haru wouldn’t just stop you where you stood. Surprisingly enough, he seemed to follow you, even though he had been the one holding you in place. You did your best to ignore the indignant noises made by the fangirls and Haru’s triumphant reply to them.

“You could let go now, you know, it’d be nice to actually have some blood flow to my fingers” you muttered to Haru after a few steps.

“Oh, but don’t you like it a little bit rough,” Haru basically cooed. The way he stressed the word ‘it’ made blood rush to your face. Somehow his tone made that innocent word sound _very_ suggestive.

“Not if... _it_ is just to prove a point to someone else,” you replied before you had time to consider your words. One of these days your love for witty remarks was really going to get you into trouble.

“You’re so cute when you blush,” came Haru’s response. It was starting to sound like he was purposefully trying to fluster you, which of course just made you more determined to keep up with the exchange without faltering. Any nervousness left in you was quickly making way to stubborn annoyance.

“And you’re cuter when you’re not being a jerk,” you said, almost stomping ahead now.

“Says the one who’s dragging me around.”

“Says the one who’s still holding onto my arm.”

“Says the one who can’t even look me in the eye.” Oh you could _hear_ the grin on his face by now!

“Oh shut up, you,” you said, the volume of your voice rising with every word. You stopped on your tracks and turned towards Haru with a stern look on your face.

God _damn_ the self-satisfied smirk he had on his face! Had you been any less busy with being irritated with him, you probably would’ve just stopped right there and then just to stare at him. As it was, your heart still decided on some quite unnecessary fluttering.

“I don’t know if you left your manners at the carousel or what, but I really thought you were such a nice guy until now,” you said as sternly as you could, prodding an angry finger at Haru’s chest. His expression was darkening, but you paid it little mind. “You’ve made your point, probably several of them, and really-”

Saki’s voice calling your name interrupted you, and you turned to see the rest of the gang standing nearby, with various concerned looks on their faces. Suddenly you felt embarrassed to be part of such a scene.

“Haru, I hope you haven’t done anything unnecessary while black,” Yuki said seriously. Both him and Kyo seemed tense and were eyeing at Haru warily, looking ready to spring into action if need be.

Haru dropped your arm unceremoniously and strode towards Yuki. “I just told your _fan club_ ,” Haru’s face twisted into a momentary sneer at the words, “off for you.”

You gently massaged your wrist, happy to regain control over your arm. You were glad to have Haru’s attention off of you, too, though to your surprise you were a little disappointed as well. You weren’t sure if it was because of your tirade being interrupted or Haru turning his attention away.

_Such a fool I am_ , you grimly thought to yourself.

“Your waves suddenly got so frantic it was easy to locate you two,” Saki said from your side. She was looking you up and down, as if to see if you were okay.

“And here I thought it was just the ruckus we were causing,” you said with a sheepish smile.

“What happened, anyway?” Arisa interjected, looking a little concerned.

“The prince’s fans got a little zealous, and he went off his rocker,” you answered and pointed towards Haru, who seemed to be arguing with Kyo now. “I wouldn’t have thought he had such a temper to him,” you added, shaking your head before taking in a deep breath to shake off your twirling emotions. Now that the situation was over you found yourself mostly surprised, though the annoyance and earlier nervousness still lingered. And your everlasting curiosity was also stirring. How could Haru change so dramatically and suddenly?

A thump caught your attention, and you turned to see Haru sitting on the ground, an irritated Yuki looming above him. Haru was slowly raising a hand to his head, looking more like his usual self, though you couldn't feel too confident about your interpretation right now.

“I suppose it got late and we should get going home,” you mumbled. You suddenly remembered calling Haru a jerk, maybe a few times over, and while you still stood by your assessment, you weren’t sure you wanted to deal with the aftermath of the whole mess right now.

You could also remember him calling you cute, as mocking as it had been.

“Mh-hm, we should,” Saki agreed with a nod.

“Well, I guess I'll see you all tomorrow, then,” you said to the whole group equally, aiming for an unaffected appearance. You didn't really know what to think about Haru, who had now gotten back onto his feet, or how to act with him, so you avoided his eyes.

You and Saki walked away in silence. You tried to understand Haru and your stance on him. Yes, he was interesting and generally a good friend, and yes, his outburst had been more than a little drastic.

“I really wasn’t expecting that personality change,” you said with a sigh after you had left the carnival grounds.

“The Sohmas call him black Haru when he looses it. I haven't seen him like that often, but he seems to be one of those people who just holds their feelings inside them until they can’t handle them anymore,” Saki said.

“I thought he actually was calm, are you saying he’s just acting laid-back?” you asked, surprised at Saki’s assessment.

“No, not like that. But he holds so much in him that when it finally breaks out, it gets out of control.” You stayed quiet at Saki’s words, trying to decide on how this all fit with the picture you had gotten of Haru by far. When it came to judging anyone’s character, Saki certainly had the advantage with her waves. Still, it seemed curious that there was such a dramatically different side to Haru.

“Besides, you seemed to be giving it as well as you were getting,” Saki added. You gave a short, embarrassed laugh.

“I suppose I got a little carried away, as well,” you said, eyes downcast and a small, sheepish smile on your face. Maybe your temper didn’t leave you too much room to complain about Haru’s, after all.

Though, you were still firm in your belief that he had been the one acting like a jerk whereas you had simply been defending yourself.

When you finally made it back to the Hanajima residence, you were more than ready to just sit down for some dinner followed by a nice book. Something to relax and unwind and take your mind off your circulating thoughts.

Then you remembered the contents of your school bag, still hanging heavy on your shoulder. You remembered the amount of homework you still had to do today.

“Oh, damn,” you said, half to yourself and half to Saki. You dropped your bag by your bed with a sigh.

“Isn't this just perfect,” you muttered to yourself as you grabbed the loathsome history book you had so happily forgotten about until now. The murderous glance you cast at the book would have made it squirm in your hand if it had been alive, but as it was it just stayed innocently in its place and made you loathe it even more. Such a poker face.


	7. Chapter 7

“I think that's about it for today,” you said, closing your notebook. Yumiko stretched out in her seat, hiding a yawn, while Haru leaned back on his chair, arms and legs sprawling out. You followed their example and took a more relaxed position, happy to be finished with the tutoring but not eager to get up just yet.

You’d been a little wary of going to school the day after the carnival, as you had expected things to be awkward between you and Haru. To your relief, however, Haru seemed to treat you just as usual, so you quickly let the matter go as well. You’d been too glad to see your relationship go back to normal to start questioning him over his behavior.

Even though you hardly admitted it even to yourself, that other side of Haru, black Haru as you supposed it was properly called, seemed to only make Haru more appealing to you. For the most part you certainly preferred the company of a calm and laid-back Haru, but there had been something almost titillating about the way he had been talking to you when he went black, and you found yourself often going back to his words and the way he had said them.

“I don't know how I could manage this without you,” Yumiko said with a blissful smile. She was stretching first left and then right, hands high above her head, before taking a snugger position in her chair.

“Don't say anything yet, we’ve only been doing this a couple of weeks,” you said, laughing a little, though you were gladdened by the compliment. It had been hard work, preparing for the sessions and keeping your patience when things that seemed so obvious to you weren’t so to Yumiko or Haru. It was good to see your efforts were paying off.

“But you’ve helped me a lot! Before, I could've done maybe a third of all the questions we tackled today!” Yumiko said enthusiastically, with Haru affirming her words.

“Well, you've been helping me greatly with my studies, as well,” you said. A gentle flush spread on Yumiko’s cheeks, making you smile benignly at her.

As promised, Yumiko had been tutoring you in return for you helping her with math. Those study sessions Yumiko had been handling with such enthusiasm that the first time it had taken you a while to stop observing what she was doing and actually concentrate on what she was saying. But when you did listen to her you realized that Yumiko knew her business. Instead of drawling on and on like Kido-sensei Yumiko went straight to the point and explained it with such intensity that you almost felt like she had been there herself and was now telling about her own experiences. And when the dull numbers and facts were provided in a story-like format, it was much easier for you to actually learn something.

“Oh, that’s nothing,” Yumiko said in a small voice, curling up in her chair as if to avoid notice. You were about to convince her otherwise when someone greeted you and Haru from behind you. Turning on your chair you saw Yuki standing between the bookshelves, his greeting interrupted as he apparently didn’t know how to address Yumiko.

“Senpai, this is Yumiko Saga from our class. Yumiko-san, this is Yuki Sohma,” you said, filling the awkward silence. As if the famous prince really needed any introductions.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Saga-san,” Yuki said in his most charming manner, offering a gentle smile and a polite bow. Yumiko’s nervousness melted right away.

“Pleased to meet you too, Sohma-senpai,” she said happily, returning Yuki’s bowed greeting.

Suddenly you realized that Haru had gathered his things and was moving toward Yuki.

“I think I'll escort you home. Haven't visited Shigure-sensei’s place for a while,” Haru said and linked his arm with Yuki's. Yuki blinked, surprised.

“Oh, sure. Let me just get my books first,” Yuki said, taking a few books off the shelf. You’d not expected to see him reading up on gardening, of all things.

“I’ll see you at school, then,” Yuki said to you and Yumiko with another genial smile. You all said your goodbyes and soon Yuki and Haru were walking away, arm in arm.

Unexpectedly, that little episode brought numerous other incidents forth in your mind. The way Haru talked to Yuki; a myriad of pictures of Haru standing beside Yuki, more concerned with Yuki’s well-being than anyone else’s; how Haru always seemed to be touching Yuki somehow... Separated they didn't mean much, they could be shrugged off as just signs of friendship or close family relations, but when added together it was pretty obvious what it all meant.

“Come on, we should get going too or we'll be late,” Yumiko said. You turned your attention to her, awoken from your deep thought, though it took you a while to comprehend what Yumiko had just said. Yumiko rose from her seat and you gathered your belongings before following after her, still only halfway attached to the present.

Earlier, Yumiko had invited you to join her dance class, and you had readily agreed. You’d been going to dance classes in your old town, but gave up after getting a new teacher. You just couldn't stand the way the new teacher had taken it all too seriously. You had been there to have fun, not to work till you tasted blood in your mouth. However, from Yumiko’s telling, her group was much more like what you were looking for. You had missed dancing and this had seemed like a great opportunity to get back to it.

Now, however, you were having a hard time being excited about the dance class. _Well, at least_ _I now know where I stand with_ _Haru_ , you thought to yourself. Unfortunately, this brought you very little relief.

**

You were sitting on the floor in a semicircle with some other girls, your fingers playing with the shoelaces of your new sneakers. Yumiko was sitting beside you and beyond her were Airi and Hoshi, who’d been introduced to you as Yumiko’s old friends. On your other side was a pair of girls that insisted on almost constant whispered conversation. You tried not to get too irritated, but the chatter was quite getting on the way of you listening to what Akera-sensei had to say.

Your teacher, Akera-sensei, sat opposite you all near the center of the semicircle. She was probably in her mid-twenties, with dark skin and colorful cornrows, clad in a green tank top and loose-fitting pants. Listening to her speak, you were quite hopeful. As a teacher, she seemed much more to your liking than the one that had driven you to quit dancing.

The only thing that clouded your expectant mind was your newfound revelation about Haru. You just had to fall for someone who might never even consider you an option. Pathetic. Really, how could you have been so blind? And stupid, too. You couldn't believe yourself. If you just could've realized sooner...

“Okay, let's start with a warm-up. Get up and form a line,” Akera-sensei commanded, interrupting your self-scolding. Obediently everyone got up to their feet and you took your place in the line, following after your teacher.

It didn’t take you long to realize how out of practice you were as even the warm-up had you working quite hard. As it was, you didn't mind the strenuousness of the activity. Rather, you welcomed a proper sweaty workout to take you out of your thoughts.

After about ten minutes Akera-sensei started showing you the actual choreography. The music was upbeat, ready to carry you away, and your whole mind was on what you were doing, observing your teacher’s example and replicating her movements. You really had missed this, moving your body with the music, and you found your worries washing away. The moves Akera-sensei was showing were somewhat challenging, but not too difficult, and the relative ease you had in learning them was making you feel good about yourself. Sure, you were out of shape, but otherwise you were keeping up well.

“I'm really glad you brought me here,” you said to Yumiko when you had a small break.

“You really like dancing, don't you?” Yumiko said and tilted her head slightly to the side as she looked at you with inquiring eyes.

“Yeah,” you said simply and smiled. Yumiko’s smile seemed to reflect your happiness back at you, her happiness contagious as usual. You exchanged a few more words, discussing how you found the move sets, before turning your attention back to your teacher who was moving on to the next set.

Over an hour after you had gotten started Akera-sensei finally made the welcome announcement that it was time for the final stretches. You were sore and sweaty and still somewhat out of breath, but you were also happy with yourself like one can only be after a good workout.

“You're coming next week, too?” Yumiko asked you quietly during the stretching. She had been beside you throughout the lesson and you were thankful to her for it. Of course she had been talking to her other friends as well, but you were glad for the way she had been including you and keeping you company.

“You bet, it’ll do me a world of good to dance regularly again,” you said with a nod and a happy smile.

“Great!” Yumiko said, beaming, just before Akera-sensei spoke up again.

“Okay, that's it for this time, we'll meet again next Thursday. Shine on you little diamonds, and have a good week,” Akera-sensei ended the lesson, winking as she spoke. You all wished her a good week together, your voices echoing in the room, before you headed to the locker room.

“That's Akera-sensei’s traditional phrase for ending the lesson, I can't remember her skipping it once,” Yumiko said, laughing softly as she walked beside you.

“A little diamond, eh? I could get used to being called that,” you said, smiling with Yumiko.

“Yeah, I’ve been hearing it for a few years now but it still sounds so nice coming from her,” Yumiko said, pushing her glasses up her nose.

“You’ve been doing this for a while then,” you mused.

“Yup! Airi-chan, Hoshi-chan, how did you like the lesson?” Suddenly Yumiko turned to her friends and you felt a little left out after such an abrupt turn. However, you were also eager for your shower, so while Yumiko continued chatting with Airi and Hoshi you made your way to the showers.

When you turned the water on it was freezing cold and you cried out in surprise, startling the few people that were already in the showers with you. It took you a while to find out how to adjust the temperature, but finally the water was just how you wanted it to be and you could let it comfortably fall over you. It felt so good to wash all that sweat from your skin! You were tempted to just stay there under the water, enjoying yourself, but made haste with your washing as you didn’t want to monopolize the shower.

When you got back to your belongings you were greeted by the sight of a miserable-looking Yumiko.

“You disappeared so suddenly, did I do something wrong?” Yumiko said, looking almost like she was holding back tears. Taken aback, you didn’t have a chance to reply before Yumiko came to hug you.

“Whatever it was, I’m sorry,” Yumiko said and looked at you so sincerely and pleadingly that even if you had been angry you couldn't have been any longer.

“I just needed a shower,” you reassured her, awkwardly patting her on the shoulder. Yumiko looked at you for a moment with surprise before a deep red color spread to her features.

“Oh, sorry for the fuss,” she said quickly and promptly withdrew from you. You didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed by the situation.

“Just, next time it might be better if you don't jump to conclusions that fast,” you said. Realizing what a stern tone you had adopted you softened your words with what you hoped was a reassuring smile. Yumiko looked at you warily, probably wondering if you really were upset or not, but seemed to decide the latter.

“Well then it’s my turn at the showers,” Yumiko chirped and hopped off with her towel while you were left dumbly staring after her.

“She does that, you’ll get used to it,” Airi said beside you, sounding amused.

“Might take a while,” you said, shaking your head with a smile on your lips. Yumiko definitely felt her every emotion with every single cell of her body, but she didn’t seem to dwell on things. As difficult as it was to keep up with her sometimes, you also admired her for the way she could easily move on.

You departed the dance class as a group, and while in the company of Yumiko and her friends you could still feel the pleasant contentment that came upon you after all the exercise. However, when you finally neared your current home you weren't that happy anymore. Your time in the train had given the time to think, which in the current circumstances wasn't beneficial to your mood. You were annoyed at yourself again, and disappointed with how bothered you seemed to be with Haru having his eyes on someone else. Naturally, berating yourself only led to more irritation.

_Fool, fool, fool_ , you repeated to yourself in time with your steps. At least you hadn't embarrassed yourself in front of Haru with any ill-advised confessions or actions, but that was a cold comfort.

“I'm back,” you called as you entered the Hanajima residence. As you took your shoes off you saw your aunt Mai, Saki’s mother, coming to you.

“How was the dance class?” she asked with a kind smile, the smile that reminded you so much of your own mother.

“It was great, I'm definitely going to keep on going,” you said with a smile that was just slightly forced. Mai nodded at hearing your words.

“It's so good to see that you're enjoying your life here with us,” Mai said gladly, her concern warming your heart. Here you were, causing all kinds of inconveniences with your long stay in her home, and she was just concerned with how comfortable you were rather than what a hassle you were.

“Thank you again for all the trouble you’ve gone through for my sake,” you said with a bow.

“Oh it’s nothing, don’t you worry,” Mai shushed you.

The topic had been broached many times before, starting well before you came to stay with the Hanajimas. Your parents had wanted to pay for your living expenses for the duration of your stay, but the Hanajimas wouldn’t have any of that. Still, you suspected that your parents would find a way to pay back the kindness shown to you, no matter how reluctant Mai and her husband would be in accepting it.

You climbed up the stairs, ready to relax after the long day you’d had. As annoyed as you were with yourself, you were certainly glad to be finally in a place close enough to home.

You found Saki in her room, reading a book with some snacks in hand. She barely stirred as you entered the room and plopped down on your bed.

“I've been such a fool,” you complained. You were lying on your stomach with your head resting on your palms, your elbows supporting the weight of your upper body. Saki raised her eyes from her book, giving you a level look.

“I just realized there's no way he could ever like me. And you probably knew it fairly well, too,” you grumbled. Maybe it wasn't fair to blame Saki, but that wasn't something you bothered to think about right now.

“What do you mean?” Saki asked, seemingly unbothered by your accusing tone.

“You know how he's around Yuki, that makes it pretty obvious,” you answered, staring at a spot on the wall. There was nothing interesting there, not even a smudge, but you had to rest your eyes on something.

“You're just giving up?” Saki asked. You gave her a questioning look, but couldn’t make out anything from her expressionless look.

“I don't really have a choice, do I?” you said, annoyed. Saki kept a level gaze at you, which soon had you restless. “I'm going out to the yard for a while,” you muttered before grabbing a book from your desk and leaving the room.

The house had a tiny backyard with just enough room for a couple of flowers, a small cherry tree and table and two chairs under the tree. You took one of the chairs and sat down, doing your best to concentrate on the book despite your fuming.

It took you longer than usual, but finally you were able to submerge yourself into the story and forget about your inner turmoil. Your problems and worries were replaced by those of the characters as you got carried away by the pages.

“Let me guess. You haven't done your homework.” You raised your eyes from the book to see Megumi standing just a step away from you, regarding you with an accusing look.

“Maybe,” you answered, your mind still more than halfway on the book.

“Then you should get to it,” Megumi said and took your book from your hands. For a brief moment you were left to stare at him with bafflement.

“Hey, it was just getting exciting!” you complained – maybe whine was a better word for it, but surely you weren’t _that_ whiny – and reached for the book. Megumi simply gave you a steady look, holding the book behind his back, and soon you had to give up under his dark eyes. Damn it.

“You'd better not make me lose my spot,” you grumbled as you got up to trudge back into the house, fresh irritation layering on top of the old one. To your relief Saki wasn’t up in her room, with your mood being what it was you'd rather be by yourself.

You managed to maintain your solitude for the rest of the evening, excluding dinner during which you nearly literally bit your tongue to keep yourself from getting too snappy. After that miserable experience you decided to listen to some music in the hopes it could drive your annoyance away. Soon you were lying on your bed, loud sounds blasting through your headphones to accompany your overall bad mood.

The next thing you knew was the beeping of your alarm. You slammed the device quiet and got up to a sitting position before realizing that you didn't remember going to sleep in the first place. After glancing at your clothes, which definitely didn’t look like your pajamas, you guessed that you must've accidentally fallen asleep with your music. That led you to look for your headphones, worried that you might’ve damaged them in your sleep. Thankfully you found them placed neatly on your desk. Maybe Saki had saved them?

However, you didn't bother to ask her about it just yet. You were still too groggy to interact coherently with people. Instead you went to the bathroom to take a quick shower, which was followed by your other morning chores. Saki didn't talk to much you before you left the house and were walking to school.

“You're better?” she asked and you nodded. You were still somewhat frustrated, but you were definitely better and you hoped you could hold your tongue from now on.

“I'm sorry for yesterday,” you said, ashamed.

“It's okay,” Saki said and you spend the rest of the way in silence, but in an understanding one. You tried to think happy thoughts and drive away the feelings of betrayal. It wasn't Haru's fault that your assumptions were wrong. Unfortunately, the more you tried to convince yourself that you could hold your cool the more you were blaming yourself again, making fertile ground for new agitation.

Thankfully it was Friday, the oncoming weekend was just what you needed. If you could just get through this day first.

The first lessons went relatively fine. You were a bit quieter than usual, but otherwise you thought were joking around and talking as usual. But when you saw Yuki during the lunch break – and Haru gravitating to him – you couldn't prevent your mood from sinking heavily. The lunch break passed mostly with you sulking in silence, but for the rest of the day both Haru and Momiji got their fair share of your mood. They were sympathetic at first, inquiring about what had you so troubled, but eventually their patience ran out.

“Could you just stop your childish whining and get over whatever bullshit it is that is bothering you so much,” Haru finally growled at you in the middle of a break. At first you were startled to see him go black, but then your barely suppressed feelings surfaced at full force.

“It's none of your business, so just keep your mouth shut and everyone will be happier,” you answered and glared at Haru, not wavering a single bit under his hard gray eyes.

“It is my business when you can't keep your stupid attitude in check. I'm so sick of it,” Haru retorted. Fuel for the flames.

“As if you're the one to talk, dimwit. If I bother you so much, you're very free to go away,” you said coldly and turned away from Haru. You heard his chair squeak against the floor beside you and realized that Haru had risen from his seat.

“If you’re thinking of getting physical with the advantage of your years of martial arts, it would definitely be just pathetic and cowardly,” you pointed out, just in case. You had meant your words as a deterrent, but a part of you suspected that all you did was to incite Haru further. In your peripheral vision you could see Momiji staring at both of you, like probably most of the class was. _Guess I can add making a scene in class to my list of stupid decisions_ , you thought grimly.

“You think I need to use physical means with you, ass? You're not worth it,” Haru said. You didn’t need to see him to imagine what sort of an expression went with that despising tone. Still, you turned back towards Haru, your eyes a hard shield in front of your inner self.

“Keep talking and make everyone see just how idiotic you are,” you said, trying to sound as indifferent as possible. A small part of you was surprised how easy it was to pour your malice on Haru, but the larger part was just aiming at returning an insult or two for every one you received.

Haru bent down your level, his eyes just a couple of inches from yours.

“Doesn't that apply much better to you, lil' miss know-it-all?” Haru cooed with a self-satisfied smirk. You looked at him with the most bored expression you could muster.

“If you can't collect enough brain cells to keep your mouth shut, I'm not going to waste my time around here,” you stated and rose from your seat.

“Looking for a corner to sob in?” Haru said, and at the moment the idea of punching him straight in the face was very tempting. However, you resisted it when you saw Ashida-sensei come into the classroom.

“I'd rather leave it free for you,” you hissed. Quickly you grabbed your bag and went to talk to your teacher.

“Ashida-sensei, may I go to the nurse's office? I have a terrible headache,” you said to him, doing your best to disguise your ire as pain. You could hear Haru snorting behind you, but you paid as little mind to it as you could.

Ashida-sensei looked at you for a moment, as if evaluating your state. Finally he nodded, and you fled the class. It was the last lesson of the day so you decided to just leave the school altogether. You really didn't want to hang around just for the sake of it.

Your heels hit hard on the floor as you stomped through the corridor. Just why did that moron have to act like that? Seriously, he could've just left you alone. But no, he just had to open his big mouth when you had been doing your very best to keep your own temperament in check!

Stupid jerk...

However, you only had to walk a little while longer, out of school and down the street, before your anger started to fade. Your outburst seemed to have made room for other emotions, such as regret. Probably – actually, most certainly – you had gone more than a little overboard. Well, so had Haru, but still.

You suspected you couldn't just go avoiding Haru for the rest of the year, even if the idea seemed tempting right now. But apologizing wouldn't be that easy, either, after all that you had said. On the other hand, thinking of the things Haru had said to you made it quite difficult to think about forgiveness.

All in all, you didn’t know if you’d rather punch something right now or have a good old cry.

Sighing, you continued your walk. First it was quite aimless, but soon you made up your mind about your destination. Mai would question you if you got back too early, so you decided to head to the library instead. There you went straight to the music section, picking up an album that normally was a little heavy to your liking but suited your current mood perfectly. You popped the disk to one of the provided CD-players, set the headphones on your head and sunk down in one of the comfy chairs, closing your eyes and blasting the music at high volume into your ears.

When you were almost finished with your CD, a sudden tap on your shoulder made you open your eyes with the unreasonable expectation of finding Haru standing in front of you. You found yourself relieved when it was actually Saki who looked at you with concern. You dialed down the music and took the headphones off as well.

“What happened?” she asked and sat beside you. You stared at your toes, arranging your thoughts before you gave Saki a short summary of the incident.

“Did you see him?” you asked after finishing your explanation, your hands fiddling with the headphone cord. For some reason even saying Haru’s name seemed a little difficult right now.

“Only shortly. I didn't really have the chance to pay attention to him when Momiji-kun was talking so anxiously,” Saki said. You lowered your head a little more.

“Such a stupid thing to have happened,” you muttered.

“Indeed,” Saki said, and you turned to look at her. The way she said it, you couldn’t help wondering if she thought you were stupid, as well. Saki’s expression, however, was unreadable.

“Anyway, we’ve got the whole weekend ahead of us, so maybe we could call Tohru-kun and Uo-san to see if we could do something together? My head is bursting right now and I need something a bit more fun to do. And people to vent at, I guess,” you said and mustered a little smile as you stood up. Saki nodded, and you let her lead the way while you were doing your best to talk about pleasant things.


	8. Chapter 8

“You want me to have a little talk with him?”

“Oh, don't. I'm feeling bad enough already,” you said hastily after taking a brief look at Arisa's expression. She'd definitely do it, and she'd do it thoroughly.

“I'm sure Hatsuharu-san is willing to forgive you. You shouldn't worry,” Tohru said with a reassuring smile on her face.

“It's not really that simple,” you answered, your eyes focused on a couple of blades of grass twisted around your fingers. Maybe Haru would forgive you. But could you forgive him? Did you even want it? He hadn't only hurt you with his words, he had also offered you a choice. Wouldn't it be much easier to dispel your stupid emotions towards Haru if you altogether stopped spending time with him?

“I can't see why not. Friendships shouldn't break that easily,” Arisa said, leaning her back against a gnarly tree trunk. The grass you had been toying with was a pile of green chaff in your hands as you wondered if you should really explain the situation to Arisa and Tohru.

“Well, there already were some issues before this,” you said after a moment of expectant silence, not eager to explain your mixed emotions further.

“Was it his fault that time?” Saki asked calmly. You suspected she knew very well what ‘issues’ you were referring to.

“Well... not really,” you admitted. It probably wasn’t fair to blame Haru for being handsome and intriguing but, from your point of view, attracted to the wrong person. It really would make things so much simpler if you could just blame Haru, though.

“Maybe you should-” Tohru began, interrupted by a cursing Arisa.

“Damned brats, that's the third time already!” Arisa complained and held her head. A rubber ball was innocently bouncing away from her as she was glaring daggers at it. A child was coming to get the ball, but seemed to hesitate as he saw Arisa's furious expression.

“Here you are,” Tohru said, smiling, and handed the ball to the boy. He gave her a quick, nervous smile back before hurrying off with the ball. All the while Arisa was murmuring obscenities under her breath, rubbing the sore point on her scalp.

You had decided to meet up at a park fairly close to where the Hanajimas lived. However, had you known there would be such a huge crowd of kids playing around you would’ve reconsidered the location. Your spot under a huge tree was relatively safe, but still you had been assaulted by the balls and other playthings quite a few times. Especially Arisa had been under attack, while Saki had somehow managed to avoid being hit or bumped by the kids at all.

“I think I’d like some ice cream,” you said suddenly as the craving filled you. The weather had been turning chillier, sure, but surely not too cold for ice cream.

“Don't you always?” Saki said.

“Me? Now you've mistaken me for someone else,” you said innocently while checking through your bag to make sure you had some money with you. Ice cream could always make the world seem a better place, and you certainly could do with something uplifting.

“Ice cream sounds good!” Tohru said happily, already getting up and ready to go.

“It certainly sounds better than getting bombarded by stray balls,” Arisa said, making you smile a little.

“And I’m sure it’ll soothe any bruises,” you assured Arisa while standing up with the rest of the girls.

There was a small convenience store, more of a kiosk, really, by the edge of the park. Their selection was fairly limited, but to your delight they still had a reasonable variety of ice creams to offer.

“Tohru-kun, let me treat you to something,” Arisa said as you were checking out your options.

“Oh no no, you don't need to!” Tohru protested, raising her hands up in front of her.

“You've been stuffing me with so much food over the years that this is the least I can do,” Arisa replied, her eyes still glued on the ice creams.

“But Uo-chan-”

“No objections accepted,” Arisa said with a firm look, which seemed to settle the matter.

It took you a while to choose the ice cream you wanted, and even longer for Tohru to pick something that Arisa thought was good enough for Tohru, but eventually you all had your treats. You made your way back to the park, soon engrossed in your ice creams and pleasant conversation.

By the time Tohru announced that she needed to leave for work you had been mostly successful in shedding your miseries. You were genuinely laughing and joking along with the others and generally enjoying your time together. Being with the girls was doing great things to your sunken spirits, even if you occasionally got lost in your own unhappy thoughts.

“Take care,” Tohru said to you with a kind smile, giving you a warm hug which you gratefully accepted.

“You too,” you said to her, smiling as well. Tohru really was such a ray of sunshine.

Arisa took off with Tohru, leaving you and Saki still in the park.

“Should we go home as well?” Saki asked you. You were tempted to say yes. Yes, I want to go back home to my parents and leave this city just so I never see Haru again.

“I think I'd like to read here for a while, I’ll get back later,” you said instead. Nothing better to distract you from wallowing in your own misery than reading about the miseries of others.

“Don't stay too late,” Saki said before taking her leave as well.

You took out your book from your bag and with some effort settled yourself reasonably comfortably on the bench. Quickly you dived into another world to escape your worries.

**

It had gotten dark and you had moved to sit under a lamppost in order to make out the letters on the page. You were just going to finish this chapter before leaving – the intention you had had for the past seven chapters or so. The air was quite chill by now, and you were shivering slightly, though not enough to disturb your reading. You were far too immersed in the book to care about such trivial matters.

“You're going to catch a cold,” someone said while something warm was set on your shoulders. You tore your startled eyes from the page and almost jumped on your seat when you saw Haru, placing his coat on your shoulders.

Your first thought was that he had probably gotten lost.

_Oh, crap_ , was your second.

And the third made you avert your eyes to the ground, wondering what the heck you were supposed to do.

“You can keep your coat,” you said, more harshly than you had intended. You got up, book in one hand and Haru’s coat in the other, and offered the garment back to Haru. You still weren't looking at him.

“You were shivering,” Haru said matter-of-factly, not making a move to take the coat back from you.

“I can do fairly well without,” you persisted, nearly forcing the coat back to Haru’s hands.

“You're still angry with me.” It was a statement, not a question. Your eyes were wandering around, careful to not even graze Haru, and you tried to steel yourself for another unpleasant conversation.

“I'm sorry for going black on you today,” Haru said. Your eyes darted up to see his. He was looking at you with unfaltering eyes, expression sincere, and suddenly you felt ashamed of yourself. Haru was ready to apologize, he was ready to think about how you felt and make you feel better while you had just harbored your own feelings, not giving much thought to the impact your behavior had on Haru.

Pathetic.

“ _I'm_ sorry,” you said emphatically and wrapped the coat around your shoulders. It really was chilly without it.

“Let me walk you home, you shouldn’t be out alone at this hour,” Haru offered, surprising you. So you were forgiven and the matter was talked over, just like that?

“But then you'll have to walk alone all the way from Sa-chan's place,” you protested. He'd surely get lost on the way. Besides, you felt like you needed some space to think, maybe a little time to scold yourself a bit more over how inconsiderate you’d been.

“Well, I am the one who knows how to fight,” Haru said with a casual air, reminding you of your own words. You felt the heat creep up your cheeks and you busied yourself with packing your book inside your bag. Unfortunately your face still felt far too heated to display, so you adjusted the coat on your shoulders, hiding behind the furs on the collar.

As you started leading the way to Saki’s house you realized there were other consequences to your actions you had not considered. It really had gotten late in the day, and you could only hope you had not worried the Hanajimas too much. Mai might well be fretting at home right now, concerned of you being out so late by your lonesome. The thought made you wince.

However, more than that you were concerned with walking with Haru. You didn't really know how to be with him. You were happy about your apparent reconciliation, but unlike Haru you found it hard to immediately act as if it was all done and dealt with. Apparently you couldn’t let go of your wounded pride quite yet.

And really, that annoyed you more than anything else about your current situation.

However it was, you had to admit that it was nice to be wearing Haru's coat. It had his smell on it, which you found yourself inhaling rather deeply, and it was a nice reminder that he did indeed care about you, at least as a friend. Despite everything, that thought seemed to perk you up quite a bit.

Plus, there was the fact that the coat looked plain cool. The fit of it didn’t really work for you to actually wear it, but even with the coat simply hanging off your shoulders you felt epic walking with the long tails flapping after you. You were basically strutting as you tried to catch your reflection on shop windows.

“Would this suit me?” you asked Haru, breaking the silence.

“Huh?” Apparently his thoughts weren't exactly following yours.

“The coat. It does look pretty cool on you, at least,” you answered. Maybe part of the compliment was just you attempting to make amends, but you also genuinely meant what you said. You liked Haru's style in general, yet another plus in your books. Though, you had to wonder how he managed to keep the white coat so clean. A thought of him carefully brushing it every evening tucked your lips into an amused smile.

“I think that smile suits you better,” Haru said, a gentle curve on his lips, and you couldn't help smiling even wider. So unfair of him, being so kind to you after you’d been such a jerk.

“Guess you’ll have to let me borrow this again, then,” you said jokingly, lifting up the side of the coat.

“If that’s what it takes, sure,” Haru said. The kind look he was giving you was just too much for you to handle right now and you had to turn your attention to the ground instead.

“I guess if it’s really dire you can try combining it with some ice cream,” you suggested. You’d keep your tone lighthearted, dang it, even if Haru was just being too nice and considerate and handsome and charming and apparently intent on making your heart jump out of your chest.

“And a cozy reading corner?” Haru suggested. You hazarded a quick glance in his direction, but the emotion – did you dare to call it tenderness? – on his features was just getting harder for you to handle. The care in his voice was bad enough, but those butterflies you could at least deal with. The look in his eyes and the smile on his lips, however, were just too much.

“Yeah, if that doesn’t work it’s gonna be a lost cause I’m afraid,” you answered with a small laugh. For goodness’ sake, was your voice actually _trembling_? You blinked rapidly to drive away the burning feeling in your eyes. You most certainly would not be getting emotional just because Hatsuharu Sohma was so kind to you!

“What was it that had you so upset yesterday, anyway?” Haru asked after a few moments. Your breath caught in your throat, the question catching you by surprise. You couldn’t really say that seeing Haru with Yuki was behind your bad mood.

“Oh, it’s just, something happened earlier and I suppose I was a little on edge after that and I guess everything was just getting to me,” you babbled sheepishly, trying to skirt around the actual issue.

“Well, next time, just complain about it or do something instead of trying to act like nothing is wrong,” Haru said, his words heavy with meaning. It seemed like your behavior yesterday had been quite frustrating to him.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you said, eyes downcast.

“That’s what friends are for, aren’t they? Sharing your troubles? So please, talk about it next time,” Haru added. You wouldn’t call his tone entreating, exactly, but he seemed surprisingly intent on you heeding his words.

“Oh, be careful what you wish for, these last couple of days I’ve generated more than enough complaints for several pairs of ears to deal with,” you said with a grin, once again trying to offset the effects of Haru’s earnestness with some lighthearted words. Though you had to admit that all your wallowing and self-pity had probably been a little much.

“Well, I’m the one who offered to listen, aren’t I?” Haru said. He was looking at you steadily, clearly meaning what he said. You could feel your throat clenching again.

“Thank you, Haru-kun,” you said sincerely. You suspected you were blushing again, and pulled up the fur collar. It was quite cold, after all.

“You know, I've been meaning to ask, how closely are the lot of you Sohmas related, anyway?” you said to change the topic. Besides, you were genuinely curious.

“It's a bit of a complicated family tree, second cousins once removed and all that. I'm not even sure how exactly the connection goes between me and Momiji, for example,” Haru replied, one of his arms raised behind his head as he spoke. So much for the close familial ties being the explanation for him and Yuki, then.

“No need to draw a diagram or anything, I just thought you'd all be near cousins with how close you all seem to be. You and Yuki especially.” You could’ve bitten your tongue to take back the last words.

"I used to hate him back when we were kids. The grown-ups… they used to joke around in a way that made me look stupid in comparison to him. I had not even really met Yuki at this point, but I built up all this anger towards him, and developed my black side.” Haru was looking wistfully to the distance, and seeing him like this was making your heart ache for him. Had you dared, you would’ve pulled Haru in for a tight hug.

“And then when I finally met him, and let out all my anger on him, he just calmly helped me get over the whole thing. Just like that, he made me look at the whole situation in a completely different light," Haru continued, a fond smile on his features.

"Guess prince Charming was charming back then already," you said, as lighthearted as you could.

"He was my first love."

You stumbled.

"I've been glad to see what good Tohru has done to him. Him and Kyo both. Back in the day they were constantly at each other’s throats,” Haru mused.

“Hard to imagine them being much worse,” you muttered, your mind still occupied by Haru’s previous words. What exactly did he mean, ‘first love’? There was a glimmering sense of hope in Haru using past tense, but you didn’t dare put much stock in that detail. Probably you were just grasping at straws.

“Almost there,” you said as you finally saw the Hanajima house. A part of you was disappointed to know that you were about to part from Haru, but then again you were basically shivering from the cool air, despite the coat. You could only imagine how the weather was affecting Haru.

“I'll ask aunt Mai or uncle Hayate to give you a drive home. You'll freeze otherwise,” you said to Haru, who was content to nod his head in response. “And you should probably have your coat back,” you added, reluctantly handing the garment back to him. You could just imagine the reactions you’d receive if you entered the house with Haru’s coat draped on your shoulders.

You’d barely gotten the door open when you were confronted with the sight of Mai hovering in the entryway, looking both concerned and stern.

“Where have you been all evening?” she asked while looking suspiciously at Haru, who was looking marvelously casual standing beside you.

“I just got stuck reading, sorry if I made you worry,” you said apologetically. “Um, so anyway, this is Hatsuharu Sohma, my classmate, whom I happened to meet at the park and who kindly offered to escort me home. Haru-kun, this is my aunt Mai Hanajima, Sa-chan’s mother,” you introduced them to each other.

“It's a pleasure to meet you,” Haru said politely and bowed his head, earning a quick response from Mai.

“I was wondering if you or uncle could give Haru-kun a lift home since it's so late,” you said, mentally crossing your fingers in hopes that Mai wouldn't say no.

“That's probably the best thing,” she agreed surprisingly easily. “You, however, should go up to your room,” Mai continued sternly and you thought it better not to disagree with her.

“See you again on Monday,” you said to Haru and gave him a quick, reassuring smile. Hopefully he'd get back home without an interrogation from Saki’s parents.

You lingered on the stairs and gave Haru one last wave as he left the house. His words seemed to play on repeat in your head. There was the thing with Yuki, but he had also commented on your smile. Maybe he had just been happy that you weren't being angry anymore?

“Judging by your waves you had quite an evening,” Saki said as you got into your shared room and sat down on your bed.

“Maybe, though most of the time I was just reading,” you said dismissively. Something in Saki’s tone caught your attention, however, and you regarded her carefully. It seemed to you that Saki was looking inordinately satisfied with herself.

“Did you-”

Mai's voice calling your name interrupted you. She didn't sound too happy.

“Coming!” you said, giving Saki one last suspicious glance before dragging your feet out the room and down the stairs, not exactly eager to hear what Mai had to say to you.


	9. Chapter 9

_Hack._

_Sneeze._

_Sniiiiffle._

You were nestled on the couch with a thick blanket around you. The TV was on, but with your brain feeling at least as congested as your airways you could hardly tell what was happening on the screen. Having to blow your nose every few minutes didn’t much help you in keeping track of the program, anyway.

So, maybe you shouldn't have stayed out in the park for quite so long. But how could you have known you'd get this stupid cold?

You wrapped the blanket more tightly around yourself and tried to suppress another sneeze. Oh how you hated being sick! Colds were such a devil's creation. You were snotty, miserable and bored thanks to the stupid illness plaguing you.

Maybe you should try reading something?

On second thought, no. Your books were upstairs, you yourself were downstairs, and you definitely didn't feel like moving from your cozy spot on the couch. Instead you sank deeper into the cushions, willing your body to fight harder against all the bacteria – viruses, whatever they were – inside you. Such pesky things they were, causing you all this trouble, those lit-

Saki’s voice calling your name woke you up. “You've got visitors,” she continued. You forced your bleary eyes open, trying to again form a connection with the real world around you. Slowly you rose up to a sitting position while your brain was gradually turning on again.

“Where is she?” The voice was boyish, but far too energetic to be Megumi.

Momiji bounced into the room, his exuberance making you feel even more tired in comparison. “Are you alright? Saki told us you were sick and we wanted to come see how you were and to cheer you up,” Momiji said, speaking far too quickly for your sleepy mind, and jumped to sit on the couch beside you. You stared at Momiji, stunned, and tried to process his words. You were still far from being fully awake.

“Did we wake you up?” Haru said as he followed Momiji into the room.

“Seems like it. I might be able to forgive you for it, though,” you joked with a small, tired grin before covering a yawn with your hand.

As Momiji had already filled the space beside you, Haru took a seat on the other couch. You took a moment to appreciate his lounging form sprawling on the cushions, though you took care to not let your eyes linger too long. Not that you could’ve kept on staring, either, as you soon needed to reach for another tissue to clear your nostrils.

“You should be careful or you’ll get sick to,” you warned, giving a pointed look to both Sohmas. They certainly didn’t seem too concerned in keeping their distance.

“We didn’t want you to be miserable all by yourself, though!” Momiji said, looking at you with a bright smile. You shook your head, a smile on your lips. You certainly were glad for the company even if you doubted the wisdom of visiting you right now.

“Well, don't say I didn't warn you. And you,” you gave a pointed look to Haru, “don't even try to say 'I told you so'.”

“I would’ve preferred being wrong. How are you feeling?” Haru said, his expression full of concern as he looked you over. There was a warmth pooling in your chest with this, and once again your admonished yourself for being so affected by Haru’s kindness.

“Been going through the tissues like crazy, but could be worse,” you said, carefully keeping your tone unaffected and shrugging your shoulders under the blanket.

Momiji saying your name had you turn your attention to him. “There’s something on your cheek,” he said, his puzzled words making you automatically raise your hand to your face. You could feel several indentations with your fingers and furrowed your brow in confusion. Surely it wasn’t some sort of a pox ailing you?

“It looks like you slept on the remote,” Saki said, entering the room with a tea tray. You looked to your side to see the remote control on the couch, partially sunken into the cushions.

“Oops. Hopefully I didn’t break it,” you said, embarrassed. The markings probably didn’t improve your appearance, which wasn’t a very glorious sight anyway with your shaggy hair, red nose and overall sick appearance. Embarrassed to show yourself ~~to Haru~~ like this you snuggled deeper into your blankets.

And then: _hack – hack – cough!_

Oh how you hated being sick!

“You should take some cough syrup,” Momiji said to you, his big eyes full of concern as you wiped away the water droplets that the cough attack had brought to your eyes.

“I took. Plenty of it,” you said, grimacing. Plenty enough that just the mention brought the taste back into your mouth. Yuck. Saki had set the tray on the table, revealing four steaming mugs of tea and an assortment of snacks, so you reached for your tea, carefully sipping it to wash away the idea of cough syrup.

You had a pleasant chat over the tea and food, Momiji and Haru telling you about happenings at school. The conversation was punctuated with your sniffles and snorts, and you could see Haru and Momiji looking at you with concern every time you were hit by a particularly rough coughing fit. You wouldn’t have put it past them to find a reason to leave soon, but instead both Sohmas seemed intent on keeping you company.

“Should we play some cards?” Momiji suggested when you all were finished with your tea. He was carelessly waving his food around and you could only hope he wouldn’t drop anything on the couch.

“You're all going to beat me since my brain's at about ten percent of its usual capacity, but I'm game,” you said. Saki and Haru agreed as well, so Saki went to get a deck of playing cards while you made a move to pick up the tea tray from the table.

“I’ve got it,” Haru said, his fingers brushing against yours as he took the tray from you. Your involuntary flinch at the sudden contact had you mentally cursing yourself. It was just his fingers unexpectedly touching yours, for goodness’ sake!

“I can still do this much,” you protested, maintaining your hold on the tray.

“You just rest and get better!” Momiji said solemnly, with Haru voicing his agreement. Your eyes flitted between the their serious faces.

“If you say so,” you yielded, letting Haru put away the tray. You felt a little silly, just sitting there while the card table was being prepared in front of you. Haru especially was a guest in the house and really shouldn’t have concerned himself with anything, but with how insistent the others were you couldn’t bring yourself to argue about it. Besides, you had to admit, it was nice having people so willing to ensure you were comfortable.

“Let me deal the cards. I'm allowed to do that, right?” you said, holding out your hand to take the deck from Saki. She handed you the pile of cards, and after a few rounds of shuffling you began dealing out the cards, your hands moving in a well-paced pattern across the low table.

“Seems like the flu hasn’t spread to your fingers,” Saki commented as she watched your rapid movements.

“Guess I’ve still got something going for me,” you said with a grin before turning away from the table to let out a few coughs. Soon you finished dealing out the cards and picked up the ones meant for you, hiding a yawn behind the fan of cards.

“Are you sure you shouldn't you be resting?” Haru asked you, looking at you questioningly.

“Nah, I'll have a plenty of time for that later,” you said dismissively while scrutinizing your cards. Being tired with friends was still miles better than returning to the boredom that had been accompanying you the past few days.

Just like you had predicted, the cards weren’t very favorable to you, especially with the distractions provided by your runny nose and mucused throat. Still, you were enjoying yourself, happy to be in the company of friends. Who cared about winning, anyway?

“This really isn't my day,” you sighed after a few rounds and yet another defeat. So, maybe you did care about winning a _little_ bit.

“That's what happens when playing cards with such a cold,” Saki said, making you roll your eyes.

“Really? Would've never guessed,” you said, the sarcasm in your voice tempered by how tired you sounded.

Soon Mai interrupted your gaming by letting you know that it was time for dinner. You raised your head in surprise, but a glance at the clock confirmed that the hour was indeed getting late enough for dinner.

With Saki’s lead the others got up, and you were about to do the same when you realized you were still wearing your pajamas under the blanket. It didn’t really seem like proper dinner attire, especially with guests around.

“Everything alright?” Haru asked from the door, noticing your hesitancy.

“I’ll just go upstairs quick and then I’ll join you,” you said. Haru lingered for a moment, apparently deciding for himself if something really was the matter, before he nodded and disappeared from your sight.

You secured the blanket around you before leaving your nest on the couch and heading to the stairs. You intended to hurry, but it seemed like you just couldn't force your muscles to work very hard. What was intended to be a brisk walk turned into shambling instead.

Oh how you _loathed_ being sick!

You dragged yourself up the stairs, resting surprisingly heavily against the walls as you climbed the steps. When you finally got to the room you shared with Saki your attention was almost irresistibly pulled towards the direction of your bed. How appealing it was! Maybe you should sit down, just for a moment, before getting changed?

_So soft..._

Your eyelids threatened to close all on their own accord, and the urge to rest your heavy head on the pillow was quite overwhelming.

When Saki came up to check on you she saw you sleeping slumped on the bed, feet still on the ground.

**

_So warm..._

Your mind was drifting towards wakefulness despite your best efforts to sleep a little longer. You didn't want to wake up, not yet...

You were supposed to dine with everyone.

You sprang up in your bed, feeling dizzy after the sudden movement. You sat still until the haze cleared from your sight, and when it did you rushed to put on the first decent set of clothes you could find. You skipped down the steps, only halting when you made it to the kitchen and found it empty.

“Good to see you awake,” Mai said, making her way to the kitchen after hearing you come down the stairs. You looked at her, puzzled.

“We didn’t have the heart to wake you after you fell asleep before dinner. I would've sent your friends away earlier, had I realized how tired you were,” Mai said, shaking her head. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Actually, yes,” you croaked. You coughed to clear your voice and tried again. “Not so dull and tired, though I'm still full of goop. And hungry,” you added, looking hopefully around the kitchen.

“I'll get something together for you. The Sohmas left a note for you, it's on the table,” Mai said, setting to work on an early lunch. Curious, you sat down and unfolded the sheet of paper addressed to you.

The first lines were written in Momiji's careless script:

_We hope you slept well! I forgot to tell you, Yumiko, Tohru and Arisa all hope you'll get better soon. I promise I'll buy you some ice cream when you're well again, so you'd better rest up!_

_\- Momiji_

You could practically hear Momiji’s energetic words just by reading them, and the impression brought a smile to your lips. Below Momiji’s scrawl were a few words written in an angular but much more composed hand.

_Take care and remember to take it easy. No forcing yourself._

_\- Haru_

Now your smile was of a distinctly different kind. How strange it was that such simple words could make your heart flutter. Or maybe it was just one word, the signature, that caused such reactions.

Humans really were strangely constructed.

You spent the day mostly lazing around. Mai wasn't willing to let you help much in her chores, not that you were exactly insistent about it. You channel surfed for a while before deciding there was nothing worth watching, leafed through a few books before finding you weren't in the mood for reading, and eventually you ended up wandering around the house, your occasional coughs and sniffles telling Mai where you were.

“It seems like you’re well enough to go back to school tomorrow,” Mai said when you were once again hovering around her.

“Have to see how I'll feel then,” you said, coughing as if to emphasize that you still weren’t quite back to full health.

“Well, I’m sure you’re well enough to find yourself something to do,” Mai said, a fair bit of annoyance evident in her voice. Mai wasn't the type to get vexed easily, so surprise more than anything made you leave her alone and continue your aimless fidgeting in your room, picking things up only to put them down soon again.

It didn’t help that images of Haru were – quite unnecessarily, you might add – frequently popping up in your mind, taking away the little ability for concentration you had right now. Even if friendship was all there was to be expected from Haru you still ended up lingering on things he’d done or words he’d said. You’d conjure up a pleasant memory of him, only to be irked by just how much he seemed to occupy your mind.

You had always thought yourself to be rational and capable, not the type to get stuck like this, unable to act one way or the other. Yet, it was exactly what you had done. And as much as you were trying to snuff out any unfounded hopes, your imagination was far too capable in conjuring up indulgent what-if scenarios.

In short, your thoughts on Haru were going in circles on a well-trodden path.

When you finally heard Saki and Megumi announce their arrivals home, you rushed downstairs to greet them.

“Welcome home!” you said, sniffling.

“Seems like you're better,” Saki said after taking a look at you.

“Somewhat, yes. Though, I’m not sure all this boredom is much better,” you said with a sigh – emphasized just slightly for dramatic effect.

“I thought you still had plenty of books left to read,” Megumi said, stepping in after taking off his shoes.

“I do, I’ve just been too restless for anything like that,” you complained. Your words earned you a curious look from both of the siblings, and as much as they insisted they looked nothing alike, the similarities in their expressions were almost uncanny.

“What? It’s not that weird,” you protested. Even you didn’t _always_ feel like reading.

Megumi and Saki went into the kitchen for a bite to eat and you followed, more for the company than anything else. When Saki told you about Haru – and the others – asking after your well-being you had to fight a wide grin that threatened to break out just at the mention of Haru’s name.

It was unfair, really, the effect just the mention of him had on you. And yet your mind drifted to the note in your pocket, to the way Haru had been concerned over your welfare, to his absolutely delightful looks, to the effects he kept on having on you when he just looked or spoke in certain ways… So unfair, indeed, that he was so stupidly marvelous.

“I would really like to know what made her so happy all of a sudden,” Saki said, interrupting your musing.

“Indeed. She seemed to be zoning out, and suddenly she was just radiating,” Megumi said. You wanted to be irked with how they spoke as if you weren’t there, but with their scrutinizing eyes on you you felt self-conscious instead.

“Oh, just lost in my thoughts,” you said, doing your best to keep your tone light. You focused on your food again and attempted to drive away the smile that no doubt was the source of Saki’s and Megumi’s comments.

Your meal was interrupted with the phone ringing in the hallway. Soon Mai called you over, telling you that it was your friend Chouko calling. You quickly excused yourself from the table, happy for the chance to catch up with Chouko.

“Hellooo,” you answered the phone cheerily, though your warm greeting was quickly followed with a few coughs.

“Hi! Are you doing any better?” Chouko inquired.

“Somewhat. Haru-kun and Momiji-kun came by yesterday to see how I was doing, though I managed to fall asleep in the middle of it all,” you admitted. Chouko laughed.

“Wow, you must've been tired, especially considering the company,” Chouko teased you.

“Unfortunately, having friends,” you slightly stressed the word, “over doesn’t seem to make me immune to the effects of being sick.”

“Friends, eh? So you still stand by your assessment,” Chouko said. She didn’t sound very convinced.

“I doubt he has room for that many interests,” you said, choosing your words carefully on the chance that Mai could hear you.

“You still haven't convinced me. Remember, I do know you, and I remember the last time rather well. You're too pessimistic in things like this.” Chouko took on a lecturing tone, and you groaned at the memory. How should you have known that the girl had been his sister when they looked nothing alike! Besides, unlike then, Haru had specifically talked about his feelings for Yuki. It was a very different situation!

“There really isn't anything else I can do!” you said, your frustration breaking through.

“Maybe you should try risking it for once? Just stop controlling yourself, I know you're doing it and hiding all your emotions the best you can, no matter how much you want to tell him. Let him see how you really feel being around him. If anything is going to happen, it should flow naturally from that on.” It was easy for Chouko to sound so confident when she wasn’t here in your shoes.

“Yeah, he'll naturally start avoiding me,” you said pessimistically. “But enough of me, what have you been up to?”

“Nothing much, we’ve been working on getting some program together for the culture festival but no one seems to have any good ideas. Maybe we’ll just sell some sweets or something.” Chouko paused for a moment before continuing. “There’s a weird noise coming through the line, is something going on?”

“What noise – oh, actually, I think it's me,” you said. Without realizing you had started tapping your fingers against the receiver, so you adjusted your hold on the phone and wrapped your restless fingers around the cord instead.

Again, Chouko laughed, a bright, tinkling sound even over the phone line. “So like you, not knowing what your fingers are doing. Anyway, have your parents decided yet when the final move is happening?”

“In two weeks. I'll be over for the weekend, and I'm pretty sure I can sneak in some time with you and the others in addition to all the packing,” you said. Many of your personal items had been packed before you moved in with the Hanajimas, but there was still plenty of things you needed to go through, like the contents of your bookshelf. That was not a task you were looking forward to.

You and Chouko went on talking, planning the things you would do when you saw each other again as well as going through the latest news. It was not as good as being there, but you were still glad for this connection to your old life and friends.

After you ended the phone call it was soon time for you to join the Hanajimas for dinner. Had you not known the family so well, you would've felt like an intruder in situations like this. Even now you sometimes felt a little uneasy, though it wasn't their fault. They really were doing their best to make you feel welcomed.

Cozy chatter dominated the dinner as everyone talked about their day. As pleasant as the atmosphere was it also made you keenly aware of the fact that you had not seen your own parents for weeks now. The fast-approaching move would bring an end to the separation, but it would also mean permanently leaving your old life behind.

Still, it could definitely be worse. Even if they couldn’t outright replace your old social circles, all the friends you’d been making in Kaibara High were making the transition much easier. You’d have to remember to thank Saki for introducing you to Tohru and Arisa back in the summer.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this chapter was a tricky little bugger to wrangle together, especially with getting employed sapping a fair bit of my writing time and energy, but here we finally are. And, as usual, feedback is always greatly appreciated!

“Why does no one ever tell me anything?” you complained, your tone making obvious the exaggeration in your words.  
  
“What do you mean?” Haru asked, looking at you curiously.  
  
“See?” you said, pointing at a note on the bulletin board. “They had an introductory meeting of a creative writing club last Friday, and I had no idea.”  
  
“You did storm out of school before the meeting would’ve been,” Haru said matter-of-factly. You made a face at his words. That was a low blow, even if Haru didn’t necessarily mean it to be. Sure, last Friday had not been one of your best days, considering it had ended with you and Haru flinging insults at each other, but he didn't need to remind you about it!  
  
“I'm sure you can still join the club, though,” Haru added reassuringly. He stepped closer to read the note himself, one of his hands coming to rest on your shoulder as he peered at the board from behind you.  
  
Your stomach lurched with Haru’s casual touch, a jolt going through you with the unexpected contact. Still, you tried to appear unaffected, as difficult as it was with Haru’s presence commanding your attention. You could feel the warmth of his hand even through your clothes, and you were very well aware that he was standing just centimeters from you. Half a step back and to the side, and you could be against Haru, your back flush to his chest.  
  
How were you supposed to carry on the conversation like this?  
  
“Maybe I could, but I have no idea if they even got enough members to actually start the club,” you said. It was a precarious balancing act, focusing on Haru just enough to talk as usual without getting distracted by his presence. A part of you was telling you how easy it would be to just turn around, to run a hand along Haru’s chest or tell him how he made you feel, but you shushed that part quickly.  
  
“Yuki probably knows, you can ask him,” Haru suggested.  
  
Yuki, Yuki, Yuki. Always Yuki. You pursed your lips at the mention of the name, unintentionally tensing under Haru’s palm.  
  
“I’ll see about it,” you said evasively. “We should catch up with Momiji, though.” As you spoke you took a step away from Haru and the bulletin board, and Haru lifted his hand from your shoulder. You’d been on your way to see Saki and the others in their classroom when the bulletin board caught your attention, and now your heels hit hard against the floor as you continued on your way.  
  
It was stupid, really, the way you reacted to just a mention of Yuki. It wasn’t even that you disliked him as a person, quite the contrary in fact. However, being reminded about Haru’s apparent feelings for Yuki still kept on making you irritable, even if most of that annoyance was directed at yourself. Why in the world were you so hung up on someone who had their sights on someone else?  
  
“Could I read some of your writings sometime?” Haru asked, interrupting your thoughts. Startled from your self-flagellating thoughts you turned to see that despite your brisk pace Haru had easily fallen in to walking by your side and was now looking at you with an earnest expression.  
  
“I'm not sure I’ve written anything worth looking at,” you said. You’d wanted to sound lighthearted, joking, even, but with your current mood there was more bite in your words than you had intended.  
  
“According to Honda-san you have.” You gave a curious look to Haru, who was looking very nonchalant next to you. When and why had Haru and Tohru been talking about your writing, of all things?  
  
“She finds the good in everything, though,” you said, a small smile making it’s way on your lips. You’d shown Tohru a few pieces of your writing during the summer, and you’d been surprised with the shower of compliments you’d received from her. “But if you really want, I can have a look for something decent,” you assented.  
  
“I'd like you to,” Haru answered. There was such sincerity in him, and the gentle smile, and you felt so flattered with his interest that your irritation seemed to quickly melt away.  
  
“I’ll see what I can find, then,” you said, a bright smile spreading to your features. Haru nodded and you were surprised to see how happy he seemed. Was he really that interested in seeing your scribbles?  
  
Then again, considering how much of your time at school was usually spent on writing anything else than study notes, you supposed it made sense for Haru to be curious.  
  
As you walked you tried to think of any particular piece of writing Haru might be interested in reading. Something you’d written for class and gotten good marks for, maybe? You didn’t really want to show him just any draft or self-indulgent piece.  
  
There was always such a huge amount of intimacy in sharing something you’d written, vulnerability in waiting to see their reaction to something you’d created. Doing that with someone you knew — and in this case, someone you wanted to have a good opinion of you— made the experience even more fraught. Besides, it was difficult having any sort of objectivity in figuring out what pieces were actually interesting or enjoyable. They were all dear and imperfect to you in their own ways.  
  
“There you are!” Momiji said enthusiastically, running over to you when you and Haru entered the classroom. You couldn't help your amused smile. How long had it been since Momiji left you by the bulletin board, a couple of minutes? By his excited reaction you might not have seen each other for weeks. Sure, he was always spirited, but now unusually so.  
  
“What got you so excited?” you asked curiously, the smile lingering on your lips.  
  
“We had a wonderful idea! We should have a big sleepover with everyone at Shi-chan’s house at the end of next week, some relaxing after were done with the midterm exams!” Momiji explained. There was a bright expression on his features, and his words were accompanied by particularly wild gestures.  
  
“Next week?” your face fell. “I’ll be back at home, helping mum and dad pack for the move.” Your disappointment was plain both in your tone and on your features, you would’ve loved to join in and spend some time with everyone.  
  
“That won't do, we have to get you there as well! What about this Friday, then?” Momiji said, apparently determined to gather everyone together.  
  
“That should do fine,” you agreed. It would mean a little less time to prepare for the upcoming exams, but you figured you’d be able to work around that. It’s not like you had planned to study the whole weekend, anyway.  
  
“Great!” Momiji said, beaming, before turning his attention to Haru. “You’ll come too, right?” Momiji asked expectantly.  
  
“Yeah,” Haru said with a nod. You couldn’t help a small bubble of excitement.  
  
Momiji then hopped over to Tohru and the others, finally letting you and Haru walk fully into the room instead of being caught at the doorway. Kyo made some halfhearted protests at being included in the sleepover plans without being asked about it, whereas Saki and Arisa confirmed that changing the date would be fine by them. Tohru’s expression wavered for a moment when Momiji presented the change of plans to the group, but her usual happy countenance was back when she spoke.  
  
“I’ll be at work on Friday, but you can just get started without me,” she said with a smile.  
  
“Naww, Tohru, it won’t be so fun without you!” Momiji said, disappointed.  
  
“Tohru-kun, you've been working like a maniac lately, surely they can let you rearrange your schedule so that you can have Friday off. You deserve it,” you said, trying to persuade Tohru.  
  
“Well...” Tohru said, hesitating. Momiji looked hopeful.  
  
“It won’t be the same without you there, Tohru-kun,” Saki said, her level eyes fixed on Tohru.  
  
“I’ll ask today if I can change shifts with someone,” Tohru said, giving in.  
  
“Great!” Momiji said, beaming. For a moment he looked delighted enough to jump in to hug Tohru, but he seemed to think better off it and instead started an enthusiastic conversation about the required sleepover preparations. You turned to Arisa and Saki, leaving Tohru and Momiji to do the planning. Besides, you didn’t really need to be watching Haru gravitating to Yuki again.  
  
“How have you been today?” Saki asked you, looking at you closely. Apparently she was still worried about your health.  
  
“Fine, fine, the flu’s basically gone by now,” you said, waving a hand dismissively. You were still beset with the occasional coughs or sniffles, but overall you were getting close to feeling normal again.  
  
You talked with Saki and Arisa for a while, tuning out the conversations going on in the rest of the classroom. You barely registered Kyo raising his voice as by now you’d gotten fairly used to his short temper, but the response caught your attention. It wasn’t Yuki, as you’d expected, but Haru who replied to Kyo.  
  
“Stop your complaining already, you stupid cat!” Haru said with contempt in his voice. You spun in place to see Haru and Kyo standing less than an arm’s length from each other, Haru regarding Kyo with a despising sneer while Kyo was glaring daggers back at him. Neither of them seemed to register the looks they were getting from all around the classroom.  
  
“You’re one to talk, you stupid ox!” Kyo answered with a huff.  
  
“Is copying my insults the only thing you can do, stupid?” Haru said, smirking. Kyo was fuming.  
  
“At least I don't go around causing trouble every time I turn black!” Kyo yelled back.  
  
You stared at the arguing pair, unsure if something should be done to separate them.  
  
“I wouldn’t risk going between those two when they’re like this,” Yuki said to you, apparently noticing your concern. “Usually, it is best to just let them fight it out.” You looked at Yuki questioningly. How could he be so calm about this?  
  
Still a little uncertain you turned to Saki. Yuki maybe knew Kyo and Haru well, but you put more stock in Saki and the extra insight she gained from her waves.  
  
“Yuki-kun is right, they are a particularly explosive combination like this,” Saki said. She was looking at Kyo and Haru with some interest, but didn’t seem particularly concerned by the situation.  
  
“Surely that doesn’t mean they get free reign to be obnoxious,” you protested.  
  
You heard Haru say your name and turned to see him looking at you. “Do we bother you?” Haru said arrogantly. You’d not expected him to hear you and were startled by his piercing eyes being fixated on you. There was a smug air about him, with a smirk tugging his lips and unusual fervor in his gaze. Unconsciously you licked your suddenly dry lips. The way Haru was looking at you was both drawing you in and making you doubt the wisdom of opening your mouth.  
  
“Well, I think I just said so,” you said as calmly as you could. There was really no use denying your words, was there?  
  
“Well, it's too bad,” Haru said in a mocking tone, looking at you as if daring you to say more.  
  
“What's too bad is you two making such a scene,” you retorted, your tongue moving before you could stop it. You didn’t exactly want to experience the full force of black Haru, but at the same time your pride didn’t allow you to let Haru’s challenge slide.

“That isn't something you should be worried about,” Haru said, smirking, and stepped closer to you. Maybe this was the point when you were supposed to be nervous. If so, you weren't quite reacting according to the plan. Instead of trepidation it was thrilling anticipation that was filling you. You straightened yourself, folding your arms across your chest as you kept your eyes trained on Haru.  
  
“What should I worry about, then?” you said, cocking your head. A slight smirk was spreading to your lips as well, and you found yourself actually delighted as you watched Haru stride towards you, so sure of himself.  
  
“Keeping your pretty little mouth shut when your opinion isn't asked,” Haru said in a low, warning tone as he pressed a finger on your lips. You froze, for a moment unable to find another witty comeback. You just stared into his eyes, so close to yours. And what a look he gave you! And those lips, the way they were settled in a self-assured smirk...  
  
You could've slapped yourself.  
  
You took hold of the hand Haru had against your face and pulled his finger from your lips while taking a step back. With a little more distance between you and Haru, you took a quick breath before speaking.  
  
“I appreciate the compliment, I suppose, but you two are being loud enough to make your business everyone’s business.” You were proud of how steady your voice sounded, and how you kept your eyes on Haru’s.  
  
With your words Haru turned his attention back to Kyo. “Stupid cat, you always cause such trouble!” You snorted at the hypocrisy of Haru shouting the words across the room.  
  
“Speak for yourself!” Kyo complained, pointing an accusing finger towards Haru. With another retort, Haru took a step towards Kyo. The ringing of the school bell, signaling the start of the next class, seemingly went unheard by both Kyo and Haru.  
  
“You’re both just as bad, aren’t you,” you said, sighing and shaking your head before raising your voice loud enough to be heard over the argument. “Haru-kun, I’m sure you can leave him stewing for a bit, fight him after school if you really must.”  
  
“The stupid cat needs to be taught some manners right now,” was Haru’s snappy response. Well, at least you’d gotten his attention.  
  
“I’m sure whatever the ‘stupid cat’ did isn’t worth all this effort. Now, let’s get going before you make a fool out of yourself.” You felt a little bad for putting Kyo down, but you were hoping it would help you pull Haru’s strings enough to make him cooperate.  
  
The two Sohmas replied to you almost simultaneously. “Who are you calling stupid?” Kyo bristled. “Who are you calling a fool?” Haru said at the same time. You barely resisted rolling your eyes.  
  
“I’m not calling anyone a fool _yet_ ,” you said pointedly to Haru, ignoring Kyo’s protests for the time being. “Come on, I’m sure we can find something better to do.”  
  
“Oh, you’ve got some suggestions, then?” There was that cooing tone again. Haru could’ve been talking about the weather and made it sound suggestive, the way his words were coming out. He’d closed the distance between you and was now looking at you with a knowing smirk.  
  
“Guess you’ll have to come and see,” you muttered, trying to keep the blush from your cheeks by sheer force of will. In a situation that seemed surprisingly familiar you took hold of Haru’s hand to lead him out of the room. Before you could turn away you caught sight of a smug expression on Haru's face, one that sent to your core flutters that were impossible to ignore. You tried, however.  
  
“See you all later!” you said to Saki and the others, waving your hand quickly to everyone. Kyo was still standing in the middle of the room, Tohru going up to him, whereas Saki and Arisa seemed to be eyeing you and Haru, along with most of their classmates.  
  
You hurried out of the classroom, thankful that Haru let you lead him out at least. Momiji followed a few steps after you and for a moment you walked in a blissful silence as fortunately Haru seemed to be content to hold his tongue. However, you suspected he’d fill in the silence soon enough, so you turned to speak to Momiji instead.  
  
“So... Momiji-kun, the Friday’s settled, then?” you asked the boy walking a little behind you. Momiji was looking at you and Haru with a thoughtful expression that quickly dissipated when you spoke to him.  
  
“Yep, it’s set if Tohru can get her day off!” Momiji said happily.  
  
“Great,” you said, smiling a bit absentmindedly. Thankfully with your prompt Momiji kept on chattering away while you hurried to your classroom. You kept your eyes forward, biting back any smartass comments you were tempted to direct to Haru, and maintained a firm hold on his hand.  
  
Now that you thought about it, it felt like Haru's hold on your hand was slightly different than before, gentler, maybe. You almost shrugged your observation off as the result your own imagination and hyper-awareness, but then you realized he still hadn't made any arrogant remarks. So maybe he really had calmed down?  
  
“You okay?” you asked Haru when you were approaching the door to your classroom. You tried to make your words sound more lighthearted than accusing, and you could only hope Haru wouldn't take them the wrong way.  
  
“Yeah,” Haru answered and you let go of his hand, glancing at his face as you did so. The sharpness was gone from his eyes, and you thought there was even some unusual softness on his features. You gave Haru a quick smile, glad to see he had calmed down, and hurried into the classroom.  
  
The lesson had already began, and you apologized with Haru and Momiji for being late. Isobe-sensei didn't seem to be pleased at all, and he gave you a short lecture on the importance of timeliness before letting you sit down.  
  
Knowing that Isobe-sensei was certainly keeping a close eye on you three you tried to concentrate on what he was talking about, but you couldn't help focusing more on the recent encounter with Haru. You liked to think of yourself as a reasonably witty person, someone who didn’t get tongue-tied too easily, but Haru, black Haru especially, was making you question your self-assessment. He kept on knocking you off-balance with just a little touch or a few purring words.  
  
Besides, you couldn’t help wondering what was the meaning behind Haru’s choice of words. Pretty little mouth... If there was a meaning at all, other than an attempt to shut you up. Surely you shouldn’t put too much stock on what he said when he went black. Anyone might say more than they meant when they lost their temper, Haru more than most.  
  
However it was, you were unable to not think about how Haru's finger had felt on your lips, how close he had been, how his eyes had held yours... The delight brought on by Haru's touch, his voice, his looks. Even his arrogance.  
  
You had no trouble admitting that Haru could be a real jerk when he went black. What was more difficult, however, was admitting that you — kinda, sorta, maybe a little bit — liked it.  
  
For the first time in your life you were starting to understand the fascination of so-called bad boys, or arrogant jerks as you were wont to call them. But what was more was that Haru wasn't just that. He was a good guy with a dash of the cocky. Such a delicious mixture, and in a delicious package, too, though that was more of an extra benefit than anything. But who could complain if both the looks and the personality were like Haru's?  
  
Suddenly Chouko's words popped into your mind: _Let him see how you really feel being around him. If anything is to happen, it should flow naturally from that on_. Somehow, at this moment, with strange excitement bubbling inside you, you almost felt brave enough to do something. Almost. But you were in the middle of the class, and you couldn't quite shake your precautions. Maybe later.


End file.
